Compassion
by Rihannon
Summary: Seiya tells his Goddess how he moved on and learned to live in her absence. A main course of SeiyaXShaina seasoned with a mildly bitter topping of SaoriXSeiya and a side of ShunXJune. Rated T due to some language and violence. Chapter 10 up, at last!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey everybody! I'd been having kind of trouble with figuring out a few things with "Sacrifice", writing a series of independent short stories that together could tell a much bigger one, happened to be a far more difficult task that I first conceived it. I decided that in order to work out the problems I have with the story, I needed to explore the background of the different approaches I was using, with hope of finding there the missing pieces of my puzzle. I guess it's going well so far, because I'm finding a few developments I'm really getting to like. So, here it is the first one, I hope you people like it!

Desclaimer: I have no claim on anything concerning Saint Seiya or its characters; they all belong to Kurumada Masami and his geniality. You can tell this because if I had anything to say about it, Seiya and Shaina would end up together and I really don't see that as a very realistic option. Anyway, isn't this what fanfiction is about?

Compassion

A Saint Seiya Fanfiction

Abstract: Seiya needs his time alone to speak with his Goddess, in these private moments he tells her about his life after her absence. Seiya x Shaina, other parings. Mild language and violence, rated T just for safety.

Preface

Tell me, my Goddess… What have I done right, in this life or another, to be rewarded with this vision that is my lover?

My sand-woman… my shimmering Amazon. She lays asleep on her side. Her framed, moon-bathed shapes are the dunes of the dessert where I lose myself. Her glittery skin is made of millions of rough miniature jewels, armed with an endless figure of minimal edges, sharp as blades. It offers no resistance to my advance, but as it slides over my soul, it scrapes away the coarsenesses. Slowly… day by day, year by year, she smoothes my undisclosed scars. She wants to stop the ache; she wants to make me shine again.

Why, why, my Goddess! Why are you playing deaf to my pleas? I just need to know… it is this truly a blessing, or just the foreword to the misfortune that will throw me the last blow, and finish me at last? I don't know what is in your head or what is your plan for me, but keep in mind that the higher you let me go up, the worse will be the fall and the crash… and this time I'll be shattered in so many pieces that no one, not even you my beloved, will be able to put me back together. Am I trying to threaten you? No, I couldn't. I'm just scared of losing you, and then her. I haven't seen you in a long time, I don't know if I ever will (in this lifetime, anyway)… I only know that if someone takes her from me, I will die. You hear me, Athena? I'll die!

I wouldn't dare to threaten you, ever. I'm just letting you know: If you let the sand slip from my fingers, it will be another two hundred years before you can see me again.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

Something changed in her, little after you decided to disappear. She stopped the harshness and the name-calling. She stopped the complete holy-pain-in-the-backside attitude. One day I realized I could tell if she was smiling, even with that damned mask over her face.

After a while she started to use the mask only in day time, in the presence of the guards and foreign people. She was contemplative, as always, but now her treatment of the subordinates demanded the kind of obedience that is based on respect, rather than fear. Gradually she grew in compassion as she grew to a woman. She was brighter every day, like warm sunlight; every day she grew more infused by your essence. I wondered what you did to her; I figured the two of you were up to something…

She used to join Shun and I, as we sat near to the sea shore… contemplating… remembering. She would come, mask off, and sit between him and me. She would take my hand in one of hers, and Shun's in the other, and then smile, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears.

Those tears were for you, do you know that?

Of course you do.

She said she was not ashamed of crying anymore, that compassion in your Saint's hearts made you a happy Goddess. She said you wanted us to be happy too. Oh, Saori! How we missed you! We couldn't stay away from Sanctuary for long, because only by lingering inside its boundaries we felt somehow near to you.

----

I know I always had a soft spot for her, but I never anticipated the way she could shake my world to the core.

So… Ok. In order to give you the whole picture, I'll start from the beginning:

It was about a year since Shun decided to hit the road. He went to find Ikki, or to find himself, or to do who knows what. "I'll be back, Seiya" he mumbled, "but now I have to find…"

"You don't have to make excuses, Shun" I said, and given his expression, there must have been _a little_ bitterness in my voice "everyone else's left, why you wouldn't?"

He always resented my hard words, I should know better. "You know I'll come back, I will", he said with a resolve that busted my pessimistic intents.

He came back sooner than I expected. Didn't bring Ikki, but neither had he come alone.

After hugging me out of my breath, he said something probably like "Seiya, remember June?" I remembered, yes… a cataleptic, skinny little girl that Shun was carrying in his arms, back in Japan, just before we parted to Sanctuary that first time. She went there to try to dissuade him from the impossible task we were planning. I'm sure he saw her every so often, and so he talked about her… Though he never mentioned how goddamn sexy she has become. I think I muttered something akin to "You lucky bastard", and then addressed the girl while I brushed my hair with my hand, in a sorry attempt of looking cool. "Nice to see you, miss".

June said she was going to look for Marin and Shaina, I assumed it was some kind of Female Saint thing, but then she said something about going shopping. I thought I heard wrong (her Greek wasn't very fluid then), but didn't really put attention to her words. I was busy amusing myself with the way Shun stared at her as she took her way.

"So..." I decided it was time to disrupt the trance, "why don't we take a walk so you can give me the updates".

"Yeah… why not…" He answered absently.

We walked, and he told me about his pointless search for Ikki, and how Queen Death Island was nothing better that what Ikki described. About how he searched and searched, until finally getting to recognize that maybe Ikki didn't want to be found. I think it's more accurate to say he had some sort of epiphany, as a consequence of the fever he picked up in the vicinities of Malaysia. I bet it wobbled his brains really hard, because it would take something major to make Shun give up his mind. Anyway, he told me about how he made it to Andromeda Island, to see how things were going. He found that Athena's peace has reached them somehow, but after the fateful 'friendly visits' of the Gold Saints, the islanders were in need of some positive motivation. He decided to stay for a while… and I can say he didn't stay only for the island, for he found June as well.

We reached a shaded spot under a tree, where we could rest and see the sea shore from afar. Shun's sight was lost to the blue waters that sparkled under the insistent light of the sun, I remained silent as well, trying not to spoil the moment. This is something we had, he and I, some sort of silent comprehension between us that must come from the mythological era, don't have another explanation. So we stayed in silence for a while. I was very comfortable just doing that, and when he finally spoke he caught me off my guard.

I recall our conversation going in the line of this:

"Seiya… l… I'm going to marry June."

"Uh?"

"I said I'm going to…"

"Don't. I heard you the first time."

"Yes, of course" he amended. "Anyway… I was wondering if you could be our witness. We would be much honored".

"Me?" I wasn't recovered from the initial shock, and he throws this over me, just like that! "What about Hyoga? I mean, I'm sure he would be upset if you don't include him".

"He's coming over, and so is Shiryu" He said happily.

I got it then, I was the last one to be informed of this, why I wasn't surprised? I didn't feel like saying anything, but Shun had to insist.

"Well, what do you say?"

"Dunno"

"No?"

"Don't know what to say."

"Oh… I see."

And there it was again, that hurt gaze of his… He has no idea of what he does to me… or maybe he does, and always did… not that it matters now. I knew it wasn't being fair and I felt sorry, never wanted to break his heart while he was so candidly handing it to me. "Hmmm, so… you have a date already?" I asked, and his face relaxed again.

"Well…" he started shyly, "I was thinking about… tomorrow".

Now I had to be hallucinating, or maybe I heard wrong, "What?!" I yelled, my eyes grew wide and I gave him the 'are you out of your freaking mind' look.

"I know it's soon, I hope Hyoga and Shiryu can make it… but if they don't, I guess we could wait another day or two…"

"But, Shun! You are what? Sixteen?"

He laughed, lightheartedly, "Seiya, I'm older than you, by a little, but you know I'm not sixteen…"

Well, he was right, but I was too young to be married, and so was he. "OK, but… why the hurry? It's not like we were going to war next week… or the world was coming to its end…" this last came out a bit funny, considering the history of our lives, "unless you knocked her up or something…"

I was waiting him to tell me to shut my trap, or at least to laugh a little, but he remained silent. For a second I froze, hundreds of dreadful images played in my mind: war, desperation… the soil drinking your blood like sweet nectar… and everyone's blood. When I looked closer at him I could see a bit of pink in his cheeks… and he wouldn't look at me. I felt relief washing over me, couldn't help but chuckle, "Oh-my-Goddess… YOU DID!" and then to laugh, "you are sooo pregnant!"

"Seiya!" he scolded, his face was showing such a wide variety of shades of red, it would make the paint store catalog feel mortified. After a good two minutes of scandalous laugh, I managed to calm myself. I was delighted, it has been a while since the last time I laughed a joyous laugh. He turned to me and smiled, he was happy; real happy… his smile always did well to me. This time our silence was a comfortable one, the sun was setting, and the sky was giving us the most amazing display of colored clouds.

"Of course I will be your witness, you are my brother, shouldn't need to ask."

"Oh, good!" he sighed in relief.

"I'm gonna miss you". I said, but I was smiling. He had the same right to be happy as the others, just because I was stubborn and could stay away for long; they didn't need to do the same. Now he would leave, and I would stay… this time actually alone. It was just natural, I should see it coming. Although, Gods! It did hurt.

"What do you mean?" He seemed lost.

"Well, when you… you know… go away. To live with her, in your little white house… with the white fence…"

"Oh!" he chuckled, "As a matter of fact, we were planning to come to live here. I supposed you wouldn't mind if we moved to my room... of course I was planning to ask you, I don't want to impose…" and then he started to ramble.

"So you're staying…" I asked just to be sure I got it right.

"Yes, Seiya. I… I have missed you, very much" he said, shyly, "this is how it's been for a long time… I mean, just you and I… I couldn't just leave you here by yourself… if you are Ok with it."

"Hm. Let me ponder this for a moment" I made a fake thoughtful face, "it would be you, the missus, the little shrieking bundle of joy… and I. Guess I could live with that." His smile was so wide this time, and his joy was contagious. I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed, and thankful for having him as my brother. I jumped closer to him, held his neck with my left arm while I ruffled his hair with my right fist, roughly. "Shy little Shun is getting married! What a wacked world!" I said, and laughed some more.

"Stop it, Seiya!" He complained, but then he laughed too.

---

The next day Hyoga made his appearance. A loner as he always has been, he didn't want to talk about his life in the Big Old Ice. He looked fine; the scar in his right eye was starting to fade. Or maybe I couldn't see it anymore 'cause every time I saw him his head was higher above. I mean, he was over twenty then, wasn't it about time he stopped growing taller? I guess he didn't get the 'please stop growing' notice… and it was starting to get on my nerves.

That same afternoon Shiryu arrived, I must confess it was very nice to see him. At his side were lovely Sunrei and their cheerful little boy Long. We all had a very nice evening at my place, talking and remembering old times. It was so good to be together, it has been a long time.

The wedding was the next day. It was a very simple and private ceremony at the hall of the neighboring town. They were a stunning couple; neither of the two needed much fixing to look like models in a fashion magazine cover, with the small difference of this pair being genuinely happy. But the truth is I barely can remember anything, something else was capturing my attention.

Marin and Shaina were there. Marin's attire included a very discreet and formal costume, and her mask. It was the first time I saw her in this kind of clothes, but it wasn't something I couldn't manage. Shaina was a much different thing… Oh, Goddess Dear. She was wearing this light blue, sleeveless dress. I swear to all the Gods (except for you) that I wasn't trying to figure it out, but the fabric was clinging to her body in a way that should be forbidden by law. She seemed to be a little smaller, even with her hair up, showing the entire length of her neck. Later on I figured it was because of her low-heeled sandals. I think she wasn't very comfortable, maybe she was counting on that no one in town (except for us) would recognize her that way. I guess she only appeared because June asked her, and she couldn't let a fellow Female Saint down. Or maybe she was just trying to drive me crazy. Either way she was successful.

I, instead, failed miserably. I pretended to be attentive at the pair of love doves exchanging their vows. I tried to follow the events with my heart in it, and I recall signing something and I just hope I managed to write my own name correctly. I tried not to stare shamelessly at her, but it was all pointless. Shiryu and Hyoga were exchanging amused looks, and I could tell it wasn´t about the newlyweds. I felt exposed by the indiscreet eyes of my very own dear friends. Dirty turncoats, you'd hear from me later.

After the wedding we went for lunch at a very fancy restaurant. I think the Gaude Foundation must have paid for it, because I don't think I ever got to see the bill. Who cared anyway… and even If I gave a damn about it, I wasn't in the mood for a scene. Besides, the entire 'Shaina in blue dress' thing was still giving me a hard time. She was sitting at my side. Damn. At this distance I could recognize her scent. She wasn't wearing any perfume, it was only her scent. The same one I remembered from the fights, and the battles, and all the times she shielded me with her body. That day her scent was just assuring me it was really her, the woman that pledged her love for me, years before. I wondered if behind that fierce look, the kindness I saw in her most vulnerable moments still remained. She knew… she knew I knew that side of her. I kept wondering why she was so reticent about it. So proud, so beautiful… Once, though, she didn't seem to mind that everyone witnessed her eagerness to die by my hand. I was glad she didn't have it her way back then, it would be a terrible waste.

We spent most of the night there, probably talking, drinking, dancing… I really can't recall more than my thoughts going to the woman at my side. After a few hours and a few drinks, I stopped caring about being obvious and dedicated my attention to study all her gestures and movements. I pretended to be focused in her words and her conversations with the others, but the truth is I was in a trance induced by the agile movements of her lips and the dance of her eyelashes. I didn't discern anything else for the rest of the evening.

Before the break of dawn we said our goodbyes to Shun and June when they announced that they had a boat to Italy to take. They would spend there a couple of weeks or so, and then they would come back home, to start their (or should I say "our"?) life together. The rest of us walked back home, very tired and ready to sleep through the morning. Most of them went into my house and crashed immediately, except for Marin that had disappeared somewhere on the way, and Shaina, that only excused herself and took the path towards her home. I waited for a very little time before noticing that nobody was interested in what I was doing, and went after her. It wasn't more than a minute before I caught up. "Hey," I yelled, "let me walk you home". She looked back at me, with her sleepy, beautiful green eyes pleading for a break. Of course I wouldn't give it to her. I walked by her side in silence. I wondered what would happen if I held her hand… Would she let me? Would she make me eat the dust of the road? Just as I was thinking about how a little dirt in my mouth wasn't such a high price to pay, she turned to me and spoke.

"Look Seiya, the sun is rising."

And it was, indeed, inside my very soul.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you so much, my dear readers, for giving me the chance to reach your lives. I'm honored. Special thanks to **Inensify** and **spiritodellagobianco** for the kindness of your words. I really appreciate the time you take to comment my story.

This chapter contains some violence, both physical and emotional. Nothing that could be too much for Saint Seiya fans, I think, but nevertheless consider yourselves warned.

So here it is… I hope you enjoy!

3.

From the creation of my soul to the end of the universe, you are the reason of my existence. For the sake of you I broke the columns that held the ocean. I went to hell and heaven, and came back. I defied and battled the Gods.

My brothers and I, mortal boys as we were, never had a second thought about it… because it was all for you. There was nothing too hard to accomplish as long as we could hear your infinitely enchanting voice, and feel the miracle of your cosmo.

Alas, in this lifetime I am something more than your warrior, or your hero. I am a man like so many others. A man that has a name, a beating heart made of flesh, and hot blood inside his vessels. You willingly ripped yourself from me. Now, how could you demand my undivided devotion? She said you didn't ask for that, and you only wanted us to find some peace and happiness. She said it so often that started to make me angry. How could she know what you wanted from me or not? She was every day closer to a maiden of your shrine, heavenly and unreachable.

One day I realized I was losing her to you, and it tore me apart. I could not let that happen… without even wanting it, bringing back the Shaina I knew became my personal crusade. But don't take me wrong, it wasn't really that hard… not to me at least.

-----

So, Shun was away with his new wife, Hyoga and Shiriu (and family) left to their respective homes, and there I was, left alone with my thoughts… Nasty thoughts that involved a certain Italian woman in a blue dress, that refused to leave me alone. It took all I have in me, and the whole morning, to gather the courage to go looking for her. It was way past noon when I started searching. Tracing her cosmo wasn't a difficult task, especially when she was training her disciples.

I sat there to watch her teach, very aware of how I was making her uncomfortable, but finding a wicked pleasure in it. Her movements were hard and unmerciful, but she couldn´t hide her gracefulness even if she tried. She treated her students harshly, but I think this was her way to disguise her patient dedication, and the satisfaction their progress inspired in her. She was a good teacher, just like my own Marin. I felt somehow nostalgic of my younger years in Sanctuary… yes, the same ones I hated with the gut in their time. Irony, I know.

I didn't wait long for her to finish her lessons, and I got the impression that the hurry had something to do with my presence. Not that I'd complain. With all the younglings out of our sights, she turned and walked to me. She sat on the floor, embracing her knees. I felt I needed to say something, so I only spoke what was in my mind. "I'm feeling a bit nostalgic, from seeing you with your pupils, I mean."

She didn't answer, but behind the mask was a smile, I told you I could tell. "How about a spar?" I asked, and I don't have a clue of where it came from.

"Uh?" She sounded taken aback "I…"

"These kids are no match for you. Don't tell me you don't miss the real thing?"

"It wasn't many years ago, when you said you would never fight me again."

She had a point. "I guess I changed my mind. Besides, it's just a spar, just for fun, I'm not challenging you to a death match." This seemed to upset her; I knew she hated when I didn't take her seriously. Stupid me.

She didn't answer right away, then she stood up and aimed to go. "It's getting late, sorry but I really should get going."

I leaped from the stone where I was sitting and grabbed her right wrist, "Shaina, please…" She turned to me, her devilish mask had the unexpressive look that always gave me the creeps. Then her face and shoulders drooped as she sighed heavily… it was like a signal of surrender, like if she once more was pleading for me to let her go.

"What for?" She asked with a dismaying voice.

"Told ya, for the sake of old times", I had nothing better to say.

She raised her face and looked directly at me, and in that moment I wondered if I it wasn't too late to draw back.

"Ok Seiya, you asked for the real thing. Don't hold back, because I won't".

---

She took her fighting stand and waited for me to throw the first blow. I had to oblige, this was my idea after all. She moved swiftly to avoid me just to hit my chest with her elbow, and I welcomed the pain with a smirk. The last time we fought she had the speed of sound, but I knew that during the subsequent years she enslaved herself with merciless training. All the sacrifice paid off, she was better that I remembered. Good.

We exchanged blows and kicks, with no one taking the lead. It went like that for a while, until we both understood that a change of strategy was needed. We stood apart without moving, just looking each other. We were both calm and ready, a pair of old warriors with too many battle scars on our backs.

"So," I said, "you said you'd give it to me for real. Don't disappoint me, Shaina."

I heard her irate yell as she charged again against me. She was fast, as I said before, but she also was clever. She threw a feint and I fell for it. Before I could move, she had me in line to receive her _Thunder Claw_. I felt a thousand volts running through my body… the energy brought me back a few memories, my body shivered in glorious pain… Oh, my beloved Moon, my Goddess! This was the first time in a while that I felt truly alive. I fell to the ground and didn't try to stand back; she stayed where she was, looking down at me. I wanted to see her face, so badly. I longed for her passionate eyes and that mask was keeping them from mi sight. I flew to my feet at the same time I threw a side punch directly to her head. I was fast and took her unwarned. My fist impacted on the side of her face, I would like to say it was gentle enough to avoid harming her, but hard enough to knock the mask off. It fell to the ground; down there it looked like a sheet of junk, not the face of a demon. Before me, where the demonic piece of metal used to be, an angelic face lingered. The fierce angel would make me pay for my daring… I smiled in satisfaction, "wouldn't have it other way", I whispered only to myself.

She didn't move a muscle, her voice low and shaky. "Why… are you doing this?"

"What'd you mean?" I answered her question with one of my own, playing to be unaware and uncaring. I heard myself speaking cruelly to the woman that always stood by my side. Goddess, Goddess… Of course she would take off the mask if I only asked. I know I was being stupid, but in that very moment I couldn't help it. I… I think I didn't really want to be mean to her, but fighting her brought back the warmth to my blood. All the raw feelings I kept caged in the farthest corner of my psyche, concealed for years behind my sorrow, started to break free:

Disbelief, of you abandoning me.

Anger against myself, for being lost without you.

Anger against you, because your ways remain a mystery to me.

And terrible, hurting, heart-bleeding anger against her! Because you talked to her and not me, because she could understand you and I couldn't. I felt betrayed for you both, my sweet Saori and my faithful friend… Deceiving women… the hurt was as intense as the way I loved you both.

"Ossshhhh!!" She complained, "Shut up, Seiya, you better watch your guard!" She charged against me, she was losing her concentration.

"Or what?" I continued with the banter "what could you possibly do to me?" She kept throwing blows, but I didn't have any problem to avoid them. "What is making you so angry? It was because I knocked off your mask? You look way better this way".

"Shut… up" she panted, every time her strikes were less accurate, she was growing angrier and didn't seem to mind anymore if it was affecting her skills.

"Why? What is the big deal? Since when do you mind if I see your face?" She stopped and I could see incredulity and fear in her eyes, like she anticipated what I was about to say:

"It is that you don't love me anymore?"

Ok, so… I said it. If someone ever told me I would use such a low blow, I would deny it. Yet I did. But, did I mention how 'stupid' I was being at that time? Well I think the word is not enough to describe me from this point. Maybe 'jerk', yeah, that may work… Anyway, I was being a complete jerk, and even when she stepped back with trembling wide eyes and her irises shrinking, I didn't get it was enough. Her eyes filled and quickly started to shed copious tears. Her fists were clenched at her sides, the muscles of her arms were stiff in a way that looked painful. "Shut… the hell… up", I could hardly hear her voice.

"Make me."

Next thing I knew was her fist crossing through my face, from side to side. I wasn't ready and had to step back. Gods… She was gorgeous when she was mad. She bounced towards me, but this time I hadn't any difficult in avoiding her blows, she had lost her concentration completely. I took advantage of her forwardness to grab her shoulders; using her own rush I pivoted, forcing her to spin around. Her back crashed against a wall with a dry thud. The wall cracked behind her and she whined; her features were misshapen by the pain.

I clenched her shoulders, pushing her against the wall. Each of my muscles was stiff, using unneeded strength to force her to remain motionless. I didn't care to see her face as I felt my body pressing against hers, my rage made me blind to her suffering. I leaned my head close to hers, and whispered in her ear "why… why does she speak to you?" I could feel her body shaking as her ribs struggled for room to expand enough to breath. "And since she does, maybe you can tell me… Why is she trying to take away everything I love?"

I felt her body becoming limp and all I could hear was her chocking sobs… Oh Goddess… All the sudden my head cleared. I loosed the grip and lowered my head as I stepped apart from her. For a few seconds I felt my body cooling, a chill running through my spine.

Thanks the goodness of you, Athena, she wouldn't leave it like this. Next thing I knew, I was falling on my back and the sole of a worn yellow shoe was over my face, squeezing my head against the floor, and a pointy heel was threatening to pierce my throat. '_Hello there, my old shoe friend… long time not to see'_. I knew I remained the master of her passions, if nothing else. I felt like smiling, but for some fortunate reason I was able to think better. I prayed to all the deities I could think of that moment, so my face wouldn't show any of the thoughts that was crossing my mind.

"Don't… you… ever…" She was trying hard to regain her composure, "talk to me… like that… again… Or… talk about her like that… You… selfish… insensible brute."

She removed her foot from my face, and turned to walk away. I didn't want to watch her leaving, so I turned face-down, my forehead against the soil and my eyes shut. I was feeling like crap, for too many reasons. A bitter laugh burst from my throat… and, what else could I do, my Athena-Saori?

I felt so lost… and I hated my sorry self.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews and adds, your appreciation is the best encouragement I could have.

Disclaimer: Saint Seiya belongs to Kurumada Sensei, the author, and the other people that are legally allowed to make money from it. I'm not them, and doing this represents no income to me.

4.

According to de myth, Pegasus was born from the blood of the beheaded _Gorgon _after her battle against Perseus_._ Being sired by Poseidon and created from the death of a wretched creature (that should have been wiser than to gain Athena's enmity), the first thing his young nostrils perceived was the scent of slaughter. It was Athena, though, who sheltered the bewildered newborn under her wisdom. She cared for him with patience until his restlessness was soothed, and tamed him. Maybe the Goddess felt sympathy for the winged horse because they shared the taint of a violent birthing, and somehow the analogical nature of their origins made them counterparts in fate. Only her… you, the Warrior Goddess… could understand his heart, and under the shade of your shield he became the celebrated God-Horse that served as a mount for the heroes… the bearer of Zeus's thunderbolts, the marvel that made the springs of blissful inspiration flood from every spot in which he landed. 

I wondered why, being born under his sign and all, I was absolutely oblivious to any kind of godly inspiration. The only inspirational thoughts I had those days came from my mistreated muse of the weird greenish hair.

The ludicrous thing here was that I only got inspired to behave like an absolute ass. I couldn't understand why, really. She always was nice to me (Ok, not always, but she had been nice to me for a long time); she was brave, beautiful, virtuous, loyal to you, an amazing fighter… I had no reason to hate her, and I did not! But I hated the way she was engraved in my mind; and how being close to her made me forget who I was, and what was my purpose, and why was I so immersed in my very own misery and grief.

I didn't see her for the whole next week, but it wasn't for lack of trying. I went to every place I knew she frequented, doing all I could to "accidentally" run into her. Bad as I felt, I didn't want to go to her place because that would look a bit… desperate? And, I didn't feel desperate… yet; I only wasn't sleeping, eating, or having a lame second of peace. Nope! Not desperate at all.

Nevertheless… you know what they say about not giving things their true meaning until seeing them gone? Well, I missed her terribly.

I couldn't feel her cosmo anywhere. I went looking for her pupils, but they said Marin had been supervising their training for a few days now. I had no choice but to go ask my former teacher, but of course it took me another two days to decide that I was desperate enough. I found her in her hut, sitting in front of a table and immerse in her reading. She didn't turn to me when I greeted her.

"Marin."

"Seiya" she answered, "I didn't expect to see you today".

She wouldn't look at me, and this awkwardness wasn't any help to my already difficult approach. "Ehm… How you doin'?"

"Fine, thank you for your concern" she said, without any sign of really caring.

"I've been ok… or kind of." I mumbled.

"I'm glad" she answered dryly.

This wasn't getting any better so I got to the point, after circling a bit around it, I mean. "Yeah… well" I scratched my head and made that sheepish face she loathes, and I could feel her growing anger even when she wasn't looking directly at me, "was just wonderin' if ya 've… you know… by any chance… seen Shaina this days".

Marin left whatever she was reading, or doing, and turned to me in a manner that scared all the silliness away from my face. "Seiya" she started "I tried to stand aside in this, because whatever happened between the two of you is not of my freaking business, but if you are here asking me this, it can only mean that you are not capable of dealing with your own stubbornness. So…" She made a pause to breathe "stop being so dense and go apologize." I was staggered and didn't move for a good fifteen seconds, until she brought me around in a not-too-nice way.

"Seiya! Go! Apologize! NOW!"

So, ok. I guess this was all the inspiration I needed, 'cause before I had time to think, I was in front of Shaina's doorstep.

I knocked.

Nothing.

Knocked again.

Nothing again.

I called, then. "Shaina!"

Nothing… or should I say that all I perceived with my regular senses was the scent of this incense she likes so much. I felt her cosmo, barely, but I knew she was inside. "Shaina! Open the door!" I insisted.

Then she finally answered… her voice was weak but still managed to sound bad-mannered. "Get the hell away from here, Seiya, I have nothing to say to you".

"Shit." I clenched my teeth and banged my head against the door. "For the sake of any God you like best, woman!" Then I breathed and lowered my tone, "please, Shaina… let me in."

"Go away… leave me alone!" And then I think I heard her insulting me her first language "_uomo idiota, cretino… stupido!_"

Maybe I deserved that, but making up my mind to go there wasn't an easy thing to me, so I wouldn't go away easily either. "Ok," I sighed, "I'll just wait here, sitting in front of your door until you open the damn thing. You have to come out sooner or later, and I can be pig-headed too, you know". Of course she knew… she was right about me: stupid.

I sat, and waited. Waited, waited, waited… waited. The sun set, I whistled an old Japanese folk song until the sky darkened and the stars came into sight… and she didn't open. The temperature dropped gradually, not a very common thing for the season. "Hmmm", I hummed a smile and thanked the Gods for their help.

"Ehem…" I spoke loud enough so she could hear "just letting you know: I'm freezing out here. I'm only saying 'cause I don't want you to freak out when you find in front of your place tomorrow mornin' the corpse of some poor guy who died of hypoth… hermia… or whatever they call it when you die of cold."

"Ohhhh!" the annoyance could be heard from the outside, "give me a break!" But it did the trick and she opened. I turned on my seating position to find a pair of bare feet and legs. I raised my sight and found her only in an oversized T-shirt in top of (I hoped) her underwear. She was looking down at me, her hair was a mess and her cheeks were tear-stained, but the look in her eyes was deep and compassionate, and I think she never was more beautiful to me.

------

She didn't say anything, just turned around and went inside. I stood up, a little cramped by all the time I spent sitting in the floor, and followed. I closed the door from inside, the small room was warm and smelled of sweet incense. She was laid on her cot with the blanket covering her all the way from head to toes. I went closer to her and leaned at her side, she turned her back to me as I tried to touch her arm, but not like she was out of my reach anymore. I sat on the floor, resting my arms and head on the edge of the cot, and then I extended my left arm so I could stroke her hair. She shuddered at first, but then relaxed. I understood this as a signal of that she would listen to me now, so I spoke.

"I am sorry, Shaina."

"You should be." I barely heard her.

"Really, you have no idea of how sorry I am." And I was being honest, I was sorry, so I continued. "I am sorry for tricking you into my foolish game. I'm sorry for taking out my frustrations on you. I'm sorry for being rude to you, and hurting you… in any way." When I finished I realized that my eyes were burning and watering, and couldn't hold the tears. I sobbed on the edge of her bed, my head hidden between my arms. I felt her fingers reaching my head with soft caresses, and I raised my sight to find her again laid over her side, but this time she was facing me.

"Seiya… I…"

"Don't, please let me finish…" I didn't let her say anything for fear of losing my resolve "and I'm sorry for being a coward, and for being too weak to deal with… the things I feel… for you…" She gasped and covered her mouth to hide a sob "…and for treating you like it was all your fault, and like if I should punish you for everything." I made a pause to regain my composure, seeing her in pain was tearing me apart. I breathed deep before continuing, "I know it's not a good excuse… but I'd been dealing with a big mess in my head lately, everything is changing so fast and I feel like I'm not following… like I'm stuck along with all my craziness… and when I see you I feel like something inside of me is crying out that I need to be close to you, but then something stronger, also inside of me, takes over and makes me do the stupid things. But now I know I won't be able to keep on with my life if I can't be close to you, even if you are mad at me… So please, be merciful to this man that is kneeling here at the side of your bed, begging for forgiveness… I'm not saying you must care for me or anything, all I ask from you is to be patient and try to stand the sight of me once in a while, and….

The tears kept running from her reddened eyes as she hushed me gently, putting a lead-black fingernail before my babbling mouth. She sat and patted a spot on her bed, indicating that I should sit at her side. I did. She lifted my face, holding my chin so I would look directly into her eyes…. and I did. And she spoke.

"I love you, Seiya. No matter how screwed up we both are… with everything I am, I do love you".

I thought my heart would burst out in that very moment, incapable of standing the bizarre combination of elation and sorrow. Now I guess… this is what inspiration must be.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: To all my readers, thank you so much for your support. Special thanks to **Fuego** for her wonderful review.

Disclaimer: Saint Seiya belongs to Kurumada Masami and others, not me. Greek Mythology, though, belongs to all people… me included. I don't profess any credit for of the wonderful and mind-blowing products of human creativity mentioned above.

The following contains lots of tears, some corniness and fluff. Deem yourselves warned!

5.

Infused with grace and power, Athena from the myth was favored among the Goddesses. Of all the progeny of Zeus, she was the only one not born from a goddess or woman. She was her father's child and only his. A part of him, his pride and joy. She never constrained herself with the restrictions imposed on womanhood; she was a ruthless warrior and never tolerated any intent, by god or mortal, to bring her to ignominy. However, she was gifted with the talents of femininity: among the weavers she was the most endowed, and all justice and wisdom were held by her.

To be worthy of the best of three worlds (that of men, of women, of the gods) meant she could never forfeit herself to weaknesses attributed to women, for no man could ever be the master of her love and passions. She should remain distant, up in her quarters close to Heaven, up on her throne or on the altar of her temple. Away from the Land she ruled, and away from the dwellings in Olympus. Unlike other gods, she avoided any association with the men and women at her service, and demanded from them a chaste way of life and complete devotion to their sacred duty, virtues of which she was the archetype.

And she was not tied by any human feelings, or by gods' boundaries. She was her own sovereign as well as ours.

By binding us to her rules, she was free.

But then… it was you, the one I know, the one I love. You were different in many ways from that Athena of the stories I heard in my childhood.

You decided to be a human being as well as a goddess. Maybe you learned this kind of goddess-like humility through many re-embodiments, or maybe you decided to behave differently in this lifetime, in order to learn more about mortal hearts. I don't know… I could never question your motivations. You let yourself allow the love of your Saints, and feel love for them the same way as you loved Earth and Humanity.

Your consecrated eyes shed tears because of our suffering; your heart ached for our safety. You knew us, and loved us… and then decided to spare our saintly obligations and give us human lives, and for that reason you secluded yourself.

You traded your freedom for ours.

To me, freedom without you was only bitter and futile.

She called me selfish and I guess she was right. I was the only one among the 'yet breathing' saints who couldn't bring myself to accept your gift. I wished you didn't do as if you knew what was best for us… But then I thought about my siblings, and I realized you were right from the beginning.

Most of them returned to Japan, to take care of the 'family business', waiting for your return, or trying to preserve the old man's legacy… or whatever. They are all good boys, even that blockhead Jabu. I heard he's the boss now, and even Tatsumi bows before him. Go figure.

Seika also went back, but for different reasons. She wanted to go to school, always a smart girl. She made it into college, got herself good grades and a good man. Last time I went to the Far East was to give her away… a brother's job, that's what everyone said (and 'everyone' is whom she invited). I can't say it was easy for me, she was the only thing in my life that, for a long time, I thought of as my own. The mere idea of finding her had been, on many occasions, the one thing that kept me going… and that was fortunate, now that I think of it. Your promise to help me find her was what made me stay at your side after the Galactic Tournament.

I was glad to see her happy and did my best to look like I was doing great without her and my life was just wonderful, and she really didn't need to worry about her insane little brother. It was a good thing that I brought Shun with me a few days after her wedding, because he dedicated his share of time to assure her (in what I consider to be an excess) that he would look after me and that she shouldn't worry about a thing. Oddly it worked like a charm, because she was truthfully relieved. Thanks all you Gods for him.

Of course there's Shun, but also Shiryu, and Hyoga… I have to thank you for the three of them. They are my half-brothers in blood, but if it wasn't for you I would never have gotten to know their true selves. Because of you, they are my brothers in every sense of the word. They are dear to me as only you can know… and back then, because you set them free, they were finding a place of their own in the world you made for us and were discovering new kinds of happiness. I was supposed to be happy for them as well, but then I didn't feel compelled to accept your imposed freedom. To me, unwanted independence was nothing but a different kind of submission, one I crafted myself and for me only.

I was selfish, of course I was… how could I not, if the light of my life chose to conceal herself from me… and leave me in darkness. What else had I left?

You believed I could have much more, didn't you? That's why you always kept her close… I said it before, I knew the two of you were up to something, but back then I never figured it out. You, instead, didn't have any trouble reading me like an open book, and you knew that if someone aside from you could bring me back to life… well, you know the rest. Nonetheless, I will tell.

-----

The day after we made up, she moved in with me. I didn't plan it, really, it just happened that way.

I opened my eyes that morning and saw her face, peaceful in sleep. Her eyelids were swollen from crying too much and I figured mine wouldn't look any better, given that what we mostly did the night before was cry our eyes out. We held each other and talked about all the hurt we both kept in our hearts, torturing us for so long. We talked, and cried, and clung as if we were the other's lifeline, and fell asleep.

I was feeling exhausted but much relieved, as if something pressing on my chest from the inside had finally struggled its way out. My hand was holding hers, so much smaller than it seemed during the battle. Calloused and armed, a strong hand but a woman's hand; I stroked it with the back of my fingers and found unexpected joy in it. She opened her eyes and touched my face with the same hand, I closed my eyes as she explored my features with her rough fingertips, and shivered at the tenderness of her touch.

I leaned my forehead against hers and sighed. I don't think I ever knew this kind of contentment before, in my whole life. It was like going through a dreamless sleep, in which there were no doubts or sorrow, no regrets or guilt. I was in a place where I wasn't a Saint or a Warrior, and there was no grief for the absence of my Goddess. The space was occupied only by two people who could not offer much to each other, aside from company and solace. I realized I didn't want to live away from it, anymore.

"Shaina," I whispered.

"Yes, Seiya," she answered sleepily.

"Come live with me."

"Uh?" she opened her eyes wide and sat up, startled. "Seiya…" she bent her head down, closing her eyes, and then breathed, "That's what you really want?"

I sat up and turned to her, saying nothing. When my answer didn't come, she lifted her head. Her eyes were trembling, just like the first time they saw me. She was the same girl I found without wanting it, all those years ago, and could never forget. Those innocent eyes… so much suffering and incredulity, for such a young creature; and the lovely face that printed its image in my mind.

I climbed out of bed and stretched. "Do you have any coffee?"

"In the cupboard, over there," she answered absently.

I made coffee while she pulled on a pair of sweatpants and went to wash. I looked around the one-room cabin, and realized how everything she had (aside from a couple of pots with plants and a few books) was meant for a functional purpose, and there was an obvious lack of… stuff. She lived in very neat and tight modesty; her devotion to her duties as a Saint could be seen even in her residence arrangements. I wondered how she managed to live here by herself all these years without being bored to death.

Maybe she did enjoy this life of simplicity and contemplation, certainly rewarded with a great deal of respect inside the Sanctuary and in the surrounding towns. She was a natural leader, but the main reason why she was so reverenced was the way in which she lived, in every aspect. I knew she had more reasons to reject my proposition than to accept it… after all, like everything I did those days, it was rushed and impulsive. She had a lot to lose, and I had nothing to offer… but then, what did we have to look forward to, the way we lived back then? And what would happen if we stayed the same? I knew what would happen: we would both remain lonely, longing for each other until our lives faded, never knowing what could have happened if we had dared to give it a try… to give us a try. So, I decided to start trying, but the choice was hers. I owed her that much.

I poured the coffee into two mugs and offered one to her. She took it and sat in a chair in front of the small table, her feet up on the seat, embracing her knees with her free arm. I sat in front of her, on the only other chair, watching her sip the brew.

"It was Cassios' favorite, that mug," she said, indicating the one I was using.

"You think he minds?" I asked.

"I don't know… maybe…" She smiled coyly.

Let me tell you, Goddess, she could be just adorable if she wanted. Was she really flirting with me, or was she just letting herself show her kind nature? I knew I was the only man that had seen this side of Shaina, or the only one alive, as she so candidly reminded me. In that moment I understood that I fell for the girl before me as much as for the demon-witch so keen on kicking my butt. And there was also the good friend I could always count on, and the brave woman that never hesitated in the face of a fair battle… and the one that would die for me without a second thought. They were all her, and on top of everything she was breathtakingly beautiful.

I was having a great time just sitting there with her, but I knew I hadn't answered her question; therefore she wouldn't answer my proposition either. "What I want… is this," and I couldn't help but smile, "but not only this: I want everything."

"Everything…" she echoed.

"Yes, everything that makes life worthwhile… like breakfast!"

"Like breakfast?" she smiled, amused.

"And… doing the laundry, having pillow talks, going for walks on the beach… and babysitting for Shun, and arguing about silly stuff… All those things, and everything else, I want to do with you."

And then, oh Goddess! She was crying again… only this time she was smiling. I stood up and went to her side, I held her face and wiped her tears with my thumb. "Shhh, shhhh… don't do this to me. I don't have a lot to offer you, but I don't think my proposal is something that terrible!"

She giggled between her sobs, nodding.

I wondered if I was scaring her, I could understand if she didn't want to rush things. "Hey, you know what? We could date! Take things slow, Ok? I don't want you to think I'm forcing you to do anything."

She just looked at me with a puzzled stare. I kissed her forehead and walked towards the door. "I better get going, while it's still early. You don't want people seeing me leave your house in the morning, they could talk… you know how it is… Anyway, think about what I said, ok?"

I went out and started walking, but a moment later I heard her calling from the doorstep. "Seiya, wait!"

I turned and saw her, barefooted and shaky, and then sprinting towards me. I began walking back, and barely caught her when she leaped in my direction, seizing my neck with her arms and my waist with her legs. She didn't give me time to react, I felt her lips crushing on mine… she tasted like coffee and incense. I froze and felt dizzy, barely managed to remain standing, but I do remember her parting from me and whispering: "Let them talk."

My Goddess! I forgot my own name. I couldn't really think of anything other than her lean body held close to me, in my arms. I kissed her, eager this time… and the memories, the hurting, the past, the duty, and the earth under my feet, everything else in the world disappeared, then it was only her.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: To the people that shows interest in this story, my sincere apologies for taking so long to update. I have no excuse other than being a really slow writer. This one goes to **Intensify, **for she wondered how the other boys would react to the whole Seiya/Shaina thing. This is not really what this chapter is about, but it has some of it. Big love to you, my readers, I hope you enjoy.

A bit of comedy this time.

Desclaimer: Just like the last time, I still own nothing of Saint Seiya.

6.

You know everything about my life, although I can't help the urge to tell you all. Every day I wake before dawn and walk the seashore, looking for the right spot. Then I speak to you until the sun claims his domain on Earth, forcing the retreat of a deservedly tired moon. In the time between, neither your brother nor your sister can compel their influence over mortals. He wakes while she goes to sleep… and I know this is the time of the day when I can speak to you without their intrusion. At that brief moment, the thriving energy of a day about to be born drones in my ears and crawls over my skin, making me shudder in expectancy for the silent scream of creation.

Too powerful…

Joyously intoxicating in its pureness.

At this hour the day is unpolluted by noises and human thoughts. I know you can hear me then, I can feel it inside my bones.

-----

She knows where I go, never asks but sometimes comes looking for me. Then we would walk in companying silence, or throughout nonsense chitchat, and at times she has her mischievous-mode on, and teases me until I find myself chasing after her, faking a scorn fury and pledging my revenge. Of course I always catch her, she wants to be caught.

All these years she has known where to find me. I wonder who told her in the first place, and always tells. Maybe she just finds out herself, or maybe is that damned witch-foresight of hers. Or maybe you are the one that tells her… Don't know… and don't really mind if she finds me.

In fact, I look forward to it.

-----

I came back home after my morning walk, not really knowing what to expect. The day before, I found her spread on the couch. She was hearing a tacky talk show on the TV while reading one of Shun's Buddhism books.

A day before that, I found her sound asleep in the very spot I left her earlier.

Back then, I found myself eager with anticipation of getting to know her, as well as to discover the intricacies of the life of the not-single. I wondered if every day would be about something different (which was an exciting thought), or if we would quickly fall into an easy routine (which was a somehow comforting thought). One thing I knew: it would be a way of life entirely different from the one I used to know. A new life, I could say.

My small house welcomed me with the smell of something cooking, and with a sight I certainly did not anticipate, but worthy of all my appreciation. There was my Romanesque nymph, her messy green hair pulled back in what pretended to be a pair of pigtails, and dressed only in my shorts and sleeveless red T-shirt. Gods! If she knew how to undo a man! I laughed in my mind while I searched for her where she was facing my old stove, holding a spatula in her hand while she stared entranced at something sizzling on the skillet.

"What are you doing?" I whispered to the back of her neck.

She turned and looked at me with the 'what does it look like, genius?' stare.

"Mmmm, pancakes!"

"Right." She went back to what she was doing, I had the impression that she didn't want to talk to me. I wondered if my early walks were making her upset. I really didn't want her to suffer because of me, but old habits are hard to break, and I wasn't supposed to change everything in my life because of her, or was I? I mean, she seemed to be Ok with having to leave her house, and wasn't showing any uncertainties about what would happen to her duties as a Saint. Or maybe she was, and that was what had her all fussed. I guess we had to talk about those things, eventually. The problem was I didn't really have that much experience with women, and had no idea where to begin. Well, maybe showing some interest will be a good start. I decided to address the subject in a delicate way; I've heard sometimes women are really sensitive to what one says.

"Are you mad at me, or what?" Way to go Seiya, very subtle of you.

She turned to me again, this time her stare was one of the 'throwing daggers' kind. Her eyebrows were touching, not a good sign. "Do I look angry to you?!" She barked.

"No! Nononono, no!" I waved my hands, backing off. "I didn't mean that, no way!"

"Aha… Then?"

"Is just that you are… you know… kind of quiet. And I… was wondering if I… did something wrong? That's it."

"Oh." She went back to flip a pancake. "I'm fine, don't worry". She said, but her voice was telling me different. I knew something was bothering her. Well, maybe it was time for plan B: confession. I went to sit in a chair, next to the small kitchen table, and breathed deep. "I went for a walk, Ok? I do that every morning… didn't think you would mind".

"I don't".

"You don't."

"Of course not, you've doing that for years, why should it matter to me now?"

"So, you know… and don't mind."

"You're life is not a mystery, no one's life is a secret here."

Her voice sounded easy, I could be almost certain that what she was saying was the truth. I felt relieved, but still didn't know what her problem was. So, maybe I just wasn't asking the right question. I would give it one more chance; if this didn't work I would drop the subject. "There's something I can do?"

She smiled warmly at me. _Yes! I got it right! Who said I wasn't smart? I have my moments too!_

"In fact, yes. You can set the table."

Well, not what I was thinking, but something outdoes nothing. I went looking for a couple of plates and placed them on the table. I heard something hitting the floor and turned to find her picking up the spatula. She stared at the tool in frustration, then she went to drop it in the sink. "Seiya?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"Did someone say something to you today?"

"Someone? Like who? Say what?"

"Nothing. Forget about it." I got it then. She was worried about what people would be saying, I should know, even if she said she didn't care. Of course she would care. But she seemed to be expecting it from a particular someone. She stood before the sink, her sight lost to something far beyond. Who's opinion on her could be worrying Shaina? There was only one person I could think of.

"Do you have another of those?" She asked, aiming to the offended kitchen tool.

"Yes, I think I do… eh… what's that smell?"

"Oh, shuts!" She cried, and ran to turn off the stove. She stared at a group of very dark, smoking pancakes. "This is just great!"

"Hey, not a big deal" I smiled to her, but she wouldn't look at me. She leaned her back against the kitchen counter and shuddered. Soon enough she was sobbing, covering her face with her hands. _Oh Gods! Now what? _ I went to her, taking her hands in mine and away from her face. I pulled her gently and tried to walk her to the couch. It was just a few steps (a good thing about having a small house with a single kitchen-dining-living-room), but she wouldn't move so I had to carry her. I put her down and sat at her side, then pulled her closer to me, letting her head rest on my shoulder while I stroked her hair.

"What is it?" I whispered into her hair, "My Shaina wouldn't break down to a couple of burnt pancakes. Please, tell me what's going on."

"Am I _your Shaina_?" She whined.

"Damn straight you are." I teased. "That good with you?"

"Yes, I suppose…" She looked at me, wiping her eyes. "But, I don't know what to do. All my life I knew how I was meant to act and what was expected from me. Now I'm lost."

I was glad she finally was talking to me, but I had the feeling of that there was something beyond this insecurity. I thought maybe she would tell me, when the time was right, so I decided not to push her further. "I know what you say. I'd been like that for a while, I think we both have, but you persisted longer in your duties as a Saint. This time I really think our time as Saints is coming to an end… It's the only reason I can make my brain figure out. I think this is the only way I have to keep on living and sane. Sort of, anyway."

She laughed a little. "Yes, I guess you're right".

"I think I am. And… these last days… I think I can see life from a different perspective. I feel alive when you are close. You are good to me."

I kissed her eyes.

"I want to be good…"

And her cheeks.

"…to you."

And then her lips… and then…

"Seiya!" I heard a worried yell coming from the outside, "is everything O - … -k…" that quickly changed into an uncomfortable whisper. I turned my head towards the front door, just in time to see a very red Shun drop his bags… and his jaw, "Oh… I… Good morning Miss Shaina." Right behind him, the tall and blond Mrs. Shun walked in, ginning with wicked amusement. "See, I told you something was smoking."

Shaina jumped away from me, cornering herself in the farthest edge of the couch. "Hey, Shun", I said while I tried to straighten my shirt. "Didn't expect you so soon."

"That much is quite obvious." June chuckled.

Shaina hid her face under a cushion. Shun grabbed June's hand and dragged her into his bedroom. I sat there, still and silent.

"Are they gone?" I barely heard from under the cushion.

"Aha."

She sat straight at my side, and didn't move. I held her hand. We both stared at an undefined something in front of us, without saying a word. Then the voices from the next room called our attention.

"_See? I told you they would hook up before we came back!"_

"_Shhhh, June! Keep it down!"_

"_Oh no, Mister, I was right! You owe me twenty bucks!"_

"_But you don't know for certain…"_

"_She's wearing his undies, for Pete's sake!_

"_Whatever you say, but please… lower your voice."_

"_Ok, I'm going to talk to Shaina now, she has a lot of things to tell."_

Shaina jumped from her seat, whispering "Tell her I dropped dead." And then she ran away. A couple of seconds later June appeared in front of me.

"Where is she?"

"Says I should tell ya she's dead." I answered.

"And you are some gentleman, aren't you. Never mind, I'll find her."

I held my head with both hands, and laughed. Shun plopped on the couch, at my side. "Oh Gods… Sorry about that."

"No worries dude, not your fault." Not directly, anyway. Nothing of this would ever happen if he hadn't decided to get married, and June wouldn't make Shaina wear a dress. I wondered if it wasn't all a conspiracy plotted inside a certain blond head. Now she had us all at her mercy, the evil lizard-girl. I laughed some more, and made a mental note to ask her someday... and also to thank her. "Do you think we should go after them?" I asked.

"I wouldn't dare." He mumbled, still a bit mortified. I don't know why, really, I was the one that was caught in the middle of something.

"Yeah, me neither." I sighed. I stood up and stretched.

"I don't think June will be mean to Miss Shaina." He said, not a lot of confidence in his voice.

"A tough girl, that one. Don't ever let her think you pity her, or you'd have to deal with her rage." I smiled fondly at my brother.

"I know… I have one of those too." Shun smiled back. Then he went to the stove and poked the burnt pancakes with a wooden spoon. "It seems like a perfectly nice skillet found its end. How sad," he complained.

"Sorry, I'll get you a new one." I found the pile of good pancakes and remembered how hungry I was. Poured syrup on them and started to dig in. I sat at the table and turned back to Shun. " 'ant 'fome?" I asked with my mouth full.

"No, thanks, already had breakfast." He sat across from me.

"So," I asked, after swallowing this time. "How did you like Italy?" In that instant I heard Hyoga's voice haunting me from inside my head '_not as much as YOU like the Italian girl_'. Sweet Athena! He had the time of his life at my expenses, but that would be a few weeks later… I crossed that bridge when I had to. To speak the truth, I was more concerned about what Shiryu would say to me, but he proved me wrong when he only patted my back, a big smile in his face. I guess being a husband and father made him even wiser… If that was even possible.

"It was very nice." The cheerful answer brought me back from the reverie. He said nothing more for a few seconds, while he lowered his stare to his hands on the table; he was thinking hard, I could almost hear the buzzing inside his head. "Seiya… If… If I may ask…" Gods! Why he had to be so tact-obsessed.

"What about Shaina?"I finished for him.

"Well, yes."

"Let's say you _do_ owe your wife twenty."

"Oh, Gods… Oh, Gods!" He covered his face with his hands, but did little to hide the blush.

"I asked her to move in," I told him bluntly, and then I quoted him in mocked shyness, "Of course I was planning to ask you, I don't want to impose."

Shun shook his head, letting out an annoyed chuckle. He rose and walked towards his room, but after a couple of steps he turned back and asked: "Are you happy, Seiya?" Dear Lady of mine… he was Ikki's brother, in his ways to mess with one's head, I mean. What could I say to him? I shrugged; a silly smile spread all over my face.

I didn't see him leave the room, as I went back to my endeavor of stuffing my face with the sweet and fluffy fare.

_What's happiness, anyway? _


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Sorry again for making you people wait. This chapter is just a little bit longer than usual; as a matter of fact it went out a lot longer that I first planned, so I decided to divide it in two in order to make you wait a little less. I still have to work in the next part, so I can't offer a quick update, but I promise to try.

Hope you like it, big love.

Disclaimer: Nothing of Saint Seiya is mine.

7.

I must say you were right all along: life can be beautiful.

I understand, of course, how life is beautiful in an impermanent way, ephemeral even. Yet these brief moments are what can make one think that maybe, if today were the last day of life, one would die content.

Think the ride was worthwhile.

As a kid I managed to grasp some glimpses of beauty, some moments of simple happiness, in the company of my sister and childhood friends. There were a very few ones during my years in the Sanctuary, when I wasn't too sore to appreciate the colors of the sky in a sunset landscape.

The forbidden deep-green of Shaina's eyes…

… Aioria's secret smile, as he walked with Marin and me after a long day of training.

Small, heart- soothing thoughts.

Then I found you. No. You found me, along with the others.

All concepts of what is good in life faded at your presence. Beauty… happiness… warmth… enlightenment. You were all this but much more. Words were not enough to describe the wonder of Athena's love. I forgot about life and beauty; everything became pointless, except you.

Endless battles went by in a second, and just as soon as I found you, you were lost to me. You said you would go away so we could live in your love, and enjoy the beauty of life. But I was blind to any beauty that was not shown by your light.

You were right… only I was too blind to notice. I was so sightless that it took me years to see your light shining over her, leading the way. Then I finally could see, and there was beauty in her… and life, and warmth. The more time I spent with her, the more beauty I found everywhere I looked.

She became my light.

A light that could be dim at times, or stormy, but even then was warm and soothing. Out of this light a path was opened through the darkness, and although I sometimes lost the track, I could always find my way back. I wasn't lost anymore, and I knew in my heart you would be happy for me; because along the path there was beauty… and moreover, I was able to see it.

-----

My back crashed against the hard stone floor and I felt my breath abandoning me with a dry sound. It took me a couple of seconds to focus my sight, so I could see her staring down at me. "You need to concentrate more, Seiya, your mind is elsewhere" she said calmly while offering her hand to me. I grabbed it and she yanked me back to my feet.

"Right, sorry."

Her silver mask didn't threat me anymore. In fact, I'd become a mask-supporter when it came to training. Recalling her beauty, I don't think it was possible to train calmly if her face was there all the time. I knew I couldn't, and possibly it would be the same with her apprentices. I mean, most of them were guys, after all. I knew they had a great deal of respect for her, but I was a kid once too, and it was then that I was captivated by her face.

Yep! The mask was a good thing.

The pupils were watching us attentively, trying to figure out what the demonstration was about. They were ashamed to ask, so Shaina offered to show them again. "Ok, I'll do it slower this time, pay attention". She repeated her moves, and this time I was aware enough to prevent the violent landing. "Now, pick a partner and try by yourselves, Seiya and I will oversee you."

It seemed like by that time everybody was used to seeing us as a couple and no one had a problem with it, or at least nobody was bold enough to say it to our faces. I figured times had really changed in the Sanctuary, now that most of the Saints had disappeared. The Pope and the Gold Saints had almost become part of the myth, and the old rules and traditions were going the same way. It was unbelievable how much a place could change in just a few years.

We were trying to go with the flow of the changes, slowly, maybe clumsily. She said she felt lost, and I ached for her. Now that I was starting to think that after all, there was a way out of my madness, she was losing her balance. I didn't want her to sacrifice the peace of her mind in order to give me some, even if she did it willingly. I told her she wasn't supposed to change everything in her life because of me, and she could very well keep doing the things she used to do; if she wanted to, of course. She said she missed teaching the young. I said she should do it then, and that I would like to help her in any way I could. She said she would.

I was glad when she decided to continue teaching because that was what she did best, and there wasn't any good reason for stopping. I was really proud of my girl, and wanted to show her my support by offering to help her with the lessons. Since then I skipped work once a week (not that anyone would miss me among the dockworkers, where I was enrolled in an entirely freelance way) so I could attend her lectures and show the kids a few moves of my own. Soon enough we had a routine settled, and I looked forward to my 'training day'.

We watched as the younglings practiced their lesson and after that we called it a day. Once they were on their way, she gathered her things and took off her mask. A calm smile graced her tired features. All sweaty and covered with dirt… simply beautiful, I could look at her forever.

"Thank you", she said, softly.

"Eh?"

"For coming over."

"Well, I kinda come every week."

"Yes, and I thank you for that."

"No need. I like it here with the kiddies."

"True," she laughed a little, "but not as much as they enjoy having you here. They worship you, you know? They want to be you."

" 'F course they want to be me, I get to hold you at nights."

"Seiya…" she warned impatiently, "I mean it. You are their hero. "

"Jeez!" I scratched my head and twisted my mouth, "then ya have to find 'em a new role model before's too late!"

She laughed a little more, then she ambled towards the road. I held her hand as she walked by my side. I turned to her occasionally and every time I found her smiling at me, calm and affectionate. She had been my friend for a long time, but she used to keep her distance. Now the wall that restrained us from each other was finally demolished, the distance between us was no longer necessary. Thanks to the Gods.

"Seiya", she asked "there's something worrying you? You were lost in your thoughts back there."

"Mmmm… not really. I've been thinking about the Gold Saints lately. Often. I think people are forgetting them, and it shouldn't happen. They… their lives were forfeited to save us all. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for them. And I wish more people knew. Y' know, days like this remind me of Aioria. He carried the burden of his brother's dishonor, but he managed to keep an aura of honesty and loyalty… not without a speck of sadness, though."

"Yes, I think of him a lot, too…"

"You do, eh?" I asked, raising my eyebrow emphatically.

"Not like that, silly!"

I laughed. She punched me in the arm and smiled, then she lowered her face. "He was a good man," she whispered.

I nodded once and smiled a bit. We reassumed our walk in comfortable silence.

-----

We found June sitting on a wide chair on the porch, intensely watching the birds chirping in the sunset hour, or the grass growing, or nothing at all. Now that I think of it, she probably was waiting for us because she felt like pestering someone, or maybe she just felt lonely. She greeted us cheerfully as she cradled her swollen belly.

"Hey! About time the two of you came back! Seiya, did you get me what I wanted?"

"Nope. Sorry, I forgot."

"Really?" She seemed upset. "Then what in the world took you so long? No, don't tell me, I don't want to hear about your naughty stuff".

Shaina's eyes opened wide, shining in indignation "wha..? …we did not…" She tightened her fists and really hard, just like she was trying to avoid biting her own tongue. "Uh! Seiya, I'm going inside."

I rolled my eyes. "June… you have to stop embarrassing her. This is getting really old, y'know."

Her eyebrows touched as she lifted her lovely chin "Well, I suppose you understand it's your entire fault! "

I smiled in my mind, _this could get fun._ "Oh, yeah? How come?"

"I want pine nuts, and you didn't get them. It wasn't too much to ask, was it?"

"Gods… I hate that stuff. Tastes like floor cleaner."

"I knew you didn't forget! You did it on propose! "

"Well… not exactly. I just don't like it when you spread the things on top of all our food." Then I lowered my voice, both embarrassed and amused, "It was more like I… conveniently forgot."

She stood up, her face turned red. "You are so mean! You don't care if your baby nephew or niece is born with a deficiency of… "

"Turpentine?"

She glared at me viciously, her fists on her hips. She was so pretty that I felt like bursting into laughter, I was struggling to hold myself. "Oh! So you do know some big words! Please don't overwork your brain!" she said, and… oh my sweet Goddess, I couldn't stand it anymore and laughed so loud that my head rolled back.

She sat down again and looked at me, puzzled. Then her face started to tremble and her eyes filled with tears. "I see you find my situation really amusing. I'm glad you're having so much fun!" Then her expression changed into a defeated one. "Do you think this is easy for me? All these crazy cravings, and mood swings? I was raised to be a warrior, for Athena's sake! No one ever told me about how these things are… what would happen. Not until now, anyway." She dried her eyes with her thumbs and stood again, regal as her usual self. I wondered how a woman like her, who was raised and lived almost her whole life in a barren and secluded place like Andromeda Island, could get to develop such a strong personality. I was really getting to like her by then, she was the fit complement to my bashful brother. "You are lucky,"she continued "Shaina and you will know what to expect when your time comes". Then she smiled mischievously, "Because, you know, my baby could use a little cousin to play with."

Wow. So… that was something to think about. Back then I was sure about wanting to stay with Shaina for as long as we may live, fully aware that it could be not a very long time. It was the way of the warrior: to live one day at a time, as if the present day was the last one. Shun and June used to think like this, I'm sure, but since they knew about their baby they understood things could never be the same. The life they once took for granted was no more. They were raised to be warriors, but now they were going to be parents. From that moment they would walk a path that was supposed to be unreachable for people like us… and they couldn't be happier.

For the first time in my entire life one particular thought crossed my mind: if Shiryu and Shun were allowed to be someone's father, so was I. Not that I was meant to, or that I was expected to… Gods! I was way too young for that. Only it was, in fact… possible. My pals seemed find their happiness in a family life, and there was no reason why I couldn't have the same. I made a mental note to talk to Shiryu about this stuff one day.

She gave me a last guilt-generating look and went inside. I was left out of my own house, alone and waiting for my brother to come home and find out I made his wife upset.

I wondered if he would kick my ass because of it.

I decided he wouldn't, but probably would look at me in a way that would make me want to kick myself. Yeah… that was more likely.

I stretched out on the deck and watched the moths slowly arrive, in search of the light bulb that hung from the ceiling. They were flitting and swirling around, like sparks flying out from a wood fire. I closed my eyes, thinking about how it would feel to be a moth, dragged irresistibly to a light that is too bright for their comprehension, although they know they have to follow it, to get as near as possible to the source of the enthrallment… nothing else.

The wretched insects were knocking themselves against the hot bulb, time after time, and I wondered if this invisible barrier that was separating them from their guiding light, could be as distressful for them as they were making it seem. I figured so, but I wondered if it would make any difference to them if they were seeking instead for an ever-distant moon, that served them as their ancestral lighthouse. I was just like them, wasn't I, Saori? I hurt so badly because of the barriers that kept me away from the star that led the days of my early youth.

I wondered if the moths could see the beauty of the world only by the radiance of this substitute light. There was no way to know, yet I started to feel sorry for the poor bugs. I stood up to turn the light off, then I went back to my laying spot. I waited for them to fly away, not long. I closed my eyes again and thought of how ridiculously short their lives would be, although they would get to see so much of the world under the light of the full moon. I smiled to think they were free from the deceiving light that only could scorch them away.

I was a moth-savior…

…A surprisingly satisfying feeling, believe it or not.

I heard steps approaching, stopped at my side. I peeked enough to see Shun sitting on the steps.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hey yourself."

"May I ask, why are you lying in the darkness?"

I really didn't know what to answer. "Just having a moment here."

"I see." He made a pause; I think he was waiting for me to say something. I didn't, so he asked again, "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

I detected his intention to talk about something, so I figured I better play along. "Not really."

"So, did you have a nice day?"

"Swell."

"What about Miss Shaina?"

How many questions would he ask before getting to the point? "She's pretty amazing too."

"No, I meant if her day went well, too."

_I know what you meant, just trying to be obnoxious, but with you… no use. _"Yeah, guess you could say so."

"I'm glad. Have you seen June?"

Well, of course he had to ask. "…'m afraid so."

"What do you mean?" There was just the slightest hint of worry in his voice.

"Well, it is a possibility that she could be upset with me."

He breathed, relieved. I think he almost chuckled. Gods! Was he really worried? As if I could let something happen to his pregnant woman and then take all the time in the world to tell him. I wondered if becoming a worrywart was also a trait of fathers-to-be.

"I didn't buy her some pine nuts she wanted, so she kinda went nuts herself. Sorry."

"You don't seem sorry to me." I opened my eyes and there was the stare, the incriminating look. Nah, I knew he wasn't really upset, he should know he couldn't fool me. I had to fight the urge to laugh again. "In fact I can tell you look quite pleased with yourself," he finished with a tone of false indignation.

_Must not laugh, must not laugh…_"I'm sorry for not looking sorry. You're welcome to punch me in the face if you think it will help in anything," I said, pointing in the direction of my nose.

"Don't be a fool."

And at that, I laughed. "Can't promise anything." He laughed too. I rose and sat on the step, in front of him. "So, you want to say something."

"Uh?" He raised both eyebrows, "how can you tell?"

"I just can."

He breathed deep and reassumed his usual tone, gentle yet serious. "As a matter of fact, there is something I want to ask you."

_Damn… The l__ast time he asked me something this way, things went pretty wacky…_

"You see, June and I are going to Japan for her 5-month checkup appointment, next week."

Are you?" I asked, "Why're you going so far? Figure there's a doctor in this country, too."

"Well, the Gaude Foundation has first-rate facilities and physicians…"

"Sure," I interrupted, "forget I asked."

He continued as if he didn't hear. "Anyway, I was wondering if you and Miss Shaina could come along."

If the way he was looking to me could be used as an indication, I was surely making a very stupid face. So? I needed more information! "Please explain the usefulness of us going."

"Well, June would really be thrilled if Miss Shaina is with her during all the… well, physical examinations, although she would never ask herself. And you could pay Seika a visit."

For a second I considered declining the invitation, but I knew it was a waste of time; he would end up talking me into it sooner or later. I better simply pass the responsibility to someone else. "I don't see why we couldn't, you ask Shaina though."

He smiled; he was so happy that his eyes were shinier than usual. What an easy guy to please. "So, what about going inside before…"

"Hey bo-oys!" June's not-so-soft voice was heard from inside. "Are you planning to come in at some time tonight? We're starving here, and not waiting for you anymore!"

"You were saying?" He asked.

"Never mind," I got back to my feet, stretching. "Come on, brother, the High Command's requesting our presence."

He chuckled. "Aren't we the luckiest men on earth?"

"You got me there, man," I said, looking in the direction of the full moon one last time, and then I followed him inside.

_Yeah… beautiful, beautiful life__ it is. _


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: So, I could FINALLY finish this chapter. I don't know why it was so difficult….

Ah, BTW, I´m really excited about the rising number of my compatriots visiting my stories. Please leave a comment now and then, ne?

Of course I cherish all reviews, no matter where they come from.

Disclaimer: Saint Seiya is not mine, and all I earn with this is a bit of joy.

8.

What about destiny? I've asked myself that same question, many times.

From the mythological perspective, destiny was as definitive as a thing can get… If something, anything happened, it was because of destiny… And everyone's fate was written in a place highest and above, where no creature could look ahead and had nothing to say about it either.

So, destiny… or fate, if you like it better. Either way the load is heavy for a small word.

Now, if one's destiny is written in the stars, starting from the day of birth, how early in life can someone meet what people would call _their_ destiny? And, more important, it is even possible to recognize one's destiny at the very moment it happens to introduce itself?

There was a time when this kind of question wouldn't bother me at all. I knew I was meant to fight by your side, to die for you if needed. But rarely did I think beyond that, and if the stars had a plan of whatever was meant for me (after I fulfilled my fate of fighting to gory death, I mean), I could never guess.

Goddess, Goddess…

The truth is I still have no idea… and have no way to discern between destiny and mirage.

Some people take things easy. My brothers, for example: Shun and Shiryu married their childhood sweethearts, without a second thought. They were like the soldiers that rush back home as soon the war is over, eager to reunite with the ones whose sole name is good enough a reason to keep going during the battles, giving the encouragement needed to fuel their hearts.

I'm sure Ikki would have made the same choice, if his loved one hasn't died in such an execrable way. He lost the one person that made his days brighter (or more precisely, bearable) and it hardened him so profoundly, that not even you were able to bring him out from the iron shell where he secluded his own heart.

But… You know? I get him. I understand how it is to hurt because of love, and then feel your heart sinking to the darkest of bottoms, believing there's no reason to bring it to the surface, where someone can take it again and crush it and make it bleed until nothing worth anything is left.

However I'm not like him. Not even close to how strong he is, and never as determined. You know I would put my heart in your hands any day of the week, no matter if you give it back to me in tiny pieces.

Therefore, I may be the greatest fool that has set foot in the Sanctuary, but I can't help giving my heart away, time after time. I can't help being just as hardheaded as I am softhearted.

Gods… I'm so glad I'm not saying that out loud, I can't even imagine how lame it would sound.

Yet, true.

I mean, look at me now. I'm idiotically smitten with the woman that used to be a frequent subject of my childhood nightmares. At first, when I was very young, she scared me. As I grew up I started to realize I was getting stronger, and there were very few things that would scare me. Yet I couldn't stop being kind of afraid of her, mainly because I really couldn't figure her out… couldn't figure out my own thoughts when it came to her. When she let me know about her feelings for me, I was frightened by the power she gave me over her. It was a burden I didn't want… it overwhelmed me in a way I can hardly describe.

Nowadays, the only thing about her that truly frightens me is the idea of not having her by my side, of waking up and not looking at her beautiful face… of going to sleep without her voice soothing the pain of my hidden wounds.

The mere thought… it… terrifies me.

I had a childhood sweetheart, too. I'm sure you remember her.

Yes, kind and lovely Miho.

If my life had been different, a life without Sainthood, or Clothes, or Holy Wars... if I were the kind of guy she needs, it would be her… the one I would be with… probably.

In a life without you, my beautiful Saori, my Goddess…

Without my brothers…

Without Shaina.

Empty.

Because, Miho… Sweet as a girl can be, she could never understand my heart. And I would never be able to be there for her, and neither of us would ever know what was missing in our lives. Gods! I would be dejectedly incapable of understanding the 'whys', or envisioning the 'ifs'... and I would make her life miserable.

I understand that, and I thank the stars for not binding her destiny to mine, for her own sake.

Now I see it, but there was a time when I doubted. I had the kind of hesitations any boy of my age would have. It's all part of becoming a man, or that's what I've heard. I doubted, I goddamn very well did, how couldn't I? It's not like I was made of stone. How could I refrain from doubts if I was looking into the eyes of someone I deeply cared for, and found them full of hope and longing… just as I was about to break her heart.

I stopped the car in front of the apartment building where Seika resides, climbed down from the driver's seat, and walked around to open the door on the passenger's side. I glanced at Shaina as I followed her around the car, and wondered if she had any idea of the effect that her high-heeled boots and designer jeans were going to set off in the male population of my native country. I had second thoughts about letting her go anywhere without me, and had to remind myself that she was probably the strongest woman in the world, and that I should be more concerned about the safety of any clueless letch that would be stupid enough to get witty with her.

I kissed her cheek, then leaned to her ear and whispered, "Have fun."

Then I turned towards the back seat and waved my hand. "Good luck, you two, I hope you have twins!"

"Thank you, Seiya… I suppose," Shun said, "but June had sonograms before, and we are pretty sure there's only one ba…"

"Just sayin'," I interrupted, closing the car door after Shaina.

"I will," she whispered back, winking an eye and smiling at me, "have fun too." She seized the steering wheel, and soon they were on their way. While I walked towards the building I remembered I didn't know which floor Seika's place was on. I was there once before, but I guess I didn't put a lot of mind on it. I thought there should be someone I could ask for information, so I went inside and stopped at what seemed to be some kind of reception area. There was no one to be seen, I stood before the counter and called.

"Good aaafternoon!"

I figured whoever was supposed to be there was still enjoying their lunch break or something. I decided to search for Seika's presence and then trace it. I focused on finding my sister, but the second I started to seek I recognized an aura I wasn't expecting. Close, very close… Just behind me. I knew I wasn't mistaken, and I felt my hands and feet getting cold, and then everything else was very cold as well. I turned around, and…

"Seiya."

Oh, Goddess…

"Miho."

She sprinted towards me, and I froze. Next thing I knew, there was Miho everywhere around me. She held me tight, I returned her embrace awkwardly, "Hey, good to see you". I didn't remember how small her frame was, I guess I was too used to hanging out with amazons. She raised her pretty face and looked at me, then she broke apart, seemingly embarrassed. She kept looking at her feet as she tried to speak.

"Sorry, I… it is very nice to see you again, Seiya."

I wondered why the anxiety; we saw each other at Seika's wedding, just about a year ago… Well, at that time we didn't talk much, or at all. She tried to talk to me, I think, but I wasn't very receptive at the time.

It used to be easy, between the two of us, but that was a long time ago. It felt like a different lifetime. Her uneasiness was probably just a consequence of how much I had changed. Now, looking at her, hearing her voice… I never felt more like a stranger. But, she deserved better than that, so I tried my best to be pleasant. "Hey, I'm glad to see you too."

"Really?" she asked, her stare still fixed on the floor.

"'f course! I just didn't expect to find you here, I was… surprised. What a coincidence, don't you think?"

"Oh, I see," she said, "But, it's not really a coincidence. Seika told me you were coming, and asked me to come too."

"Is that so?" It made sense. Now I could take a little advantage of the situation and ask her to come with me to Seika's place, so no one would notice I didn't remember where her apartment was. "Well, then she's probably waiting for us. Would you walk with me?" She nodded, I stepped aside. "Ladies first."

The elevator stopped at the seventh floor, we stepped out and I followed Miho to Seika's apartment. What I couldn't foresee was the possibility of Seika not being home. First I thought she probably had an emergency, because she knew I would come to see her, but after reading the note hanging on the door…

'_Seiya: had to run some errands. If you find Miho, please walk her home. See you for dinner. Love, Seika'_

…I started to suspect it was a setup. Well, I had not much of a choice anyway. Miho was looking intensely at her shoes.

"So," I said to her smiling, "Seika is not home. What do you say if I buy you coffee and then walk you home? We can catch up!"

She nodded once, but didn't look at me. Neither of us said a word until we were out of the building. Then I figured that unless I did something to start a conversation, we would have a very silent half an hour ahead of us.

"So… It's been what? Three years since we had a chance to talk?"

"Six."

"'s that so?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, we could have had a chance to talk at Seika's wedding…"

"Oh… yes. Sorry 'bout that… I was goin' through a not-pretty moment that time."

"Why? You didn't want Seika to get married?"

"No, nothing like that! It was a… whole different matter."

"Oh… I… I thought you hated me," she said in a very small voice.

"I? No way! Why in the world…" I grabbed her arm to make her stop. Then I stepped in front of her and lifted her chin to make her look at me. "I don't hate you, Miho."

She turned away and started to walk again. I followed but didn't talk. After a couple of minutes she turned to me and asked, "Seiya, why don't you come home? What is in that horrible place that makes you stay there, keeping you from having a normal life?"

_Normal… If you could only know how unattractive __an idea that is to me… Everybody thinks 'normal' is better, but other people's unthinkable weirdness is my normality, it's what I feel comfortable with. Because that is all I know… that's my reality. You would never understand, sweet girl, no one here can… And that's why I have nothing to do in this place._

"I… don't know?"

"How can you not know? You are lying to me!" She didn't speak loud, but I could see her discomfort_._

_I __better think fast._

"No! I… I meant I don't know how to answer… 's something complicated, ye see."

"Well, if you try, I'll do my best to understand." She said, looking gravely at me, but then she lowered her stare to the floor again. "Of course, if you don't want to tell me, you don't have to… It was out of order to ask in the first place, I'm being too forward. Please forgive me."

Oh, Goddess… more awkwardness. "Er… no! 's ok you asked, just… I don't wanna load you with my troubles." I aimed at a place ahead, hoping it would help me change the subject. "Look! Coffee! I could really use some, and I promised you a cup!" She looked at me with the 'we are not done here' stare, and then nodded.

We asked for coffee to go, Miho giggled when I mumbled in Greek about how 'ridiculously expensive everything is in this country'. I had forgotten we grew up in the same orphanage, and even if she wasn't supposed to go to a faraway land and suffer like hell to compete for a Cloth, she probably had to take language classes, too. I smiled at her, suddenly recalling who she was, how much I cherished her friendship and her support at hard times. Why was I being such an ass to her? It wondered if I had the tendency to mistreat the women that care for me.

We walked a little until we found a bench, and sat. She seemed a lot more relaxed, I asked her something before she could resume the other subject.

"Why don't you better tell me how you've been doing?"

"Well… Seika persuaded me to give college a try, and next thing I know, I´m studying pedagogy. I guess I just want to be a school teacher, after all."

"A very educated school teacher, you mean."

"I guess," she placed her paper cup on the bench seat at her side.

"I think that's great!"

"Really… I'm glad," she said, blushing a little.

Oh-oh, she had _that_ kind of smile in her face… It only meant things were going the wrong way. I had to bring up the 'I'm no longer available' subject, but I did it the best way I could think of at the time: the roundabout way. "So, there's a special someone in your life? I bet there´s a legion of college boys trying to take you on a date."

She opened her eyes wide, then blushed more and fixated her stare on her hands on her lap, holding and twisting nervously the fabric of her skirt.

"I…. I…."

Was she shaking? "Miho, are you alright?"

"I can't."

"You can't? What'd you mean?"

She closed her eyes and breathed deep. "Sometimes boys ask me out… and sometimes I accept, but… I rarely go on a second date."

"But, why don´t you?" I thought I knew what she meant, but I figured it would be better if I just _feigned dementia_.

She looked at me as if I were really stupid. "Because of you, of course! Every time I think things are going well with a guy, I start to think about '_what_ _if Seiya comes back now? What if he needs me? What am I going to say to him if I'm going out with someone else?_' And then… I … push them away."

Well, I guess I didn't expect her to put it like that, or to be such an important 'unfinished matter' in her life. Her eyes told me she had hope that I would return her feelings, but her anxiety showed me she didn't really expect me to. Goddess… I wished I could forget how to talk, so I wouldn't have to hurt her with my words. For a second I wondered how it would be… to tell her what she wanted to hear, that I'd come back… to lie to her. To put a smile in her face with words that would quickly fall under their own weight… And hurt her even more, just because I was too much of a coward to tell her the words she feared.

She was being honest with me and the least thing I could do was to do the same, so she could let me go and keep on with her life. I hoped.

"Miho, I… I'm not coming back."

Her eyes narrowed sorrowfully. "Never?" she asked in a tone of resignation.

"I don't like that word… but yeah… you shouldn't be waiting for me."

Then, what I saw in her eyes was not realization; I believe it was more of a confirmation. I knew I was causing her pain, but she wasn't surprised.

Dear Athena… what is in me that makes women suffer? I´m not even that cute or anything!

She was breathing unevenly, closing her eyes as she gathered the strength to speak with an almost inaudible voice, "Because you have someone else."

I nodded, even if she wasn't looking at me.

Then it seemed like words started to flow from her with an eloquence I had forgotten she had. "It's the woman you came with, that drove away after leaving you at Seika's place… the one that looks like a movie star. Am I right? Because, I can see she is very beautiful. I would understand if you don't want to come back if you're with someone like her."

_A__ movie star? She would like to hear that._ I smiled, moved by the bravery of her statements. I hadn't given a lot of thought to what would become of her life all these years. I only supposed the best thing I could do for her was to stay away. My Goddess… how could I be so thoughtless? No, don't answer.

"I'm sorry, Miho. I've been very inconsiderate, I should've been aware… or at least I should've tried to be aware of how you felt. I never thought… "

"Don't apologize, Seiya," she interrupted. "I understand, in fact I can see how much you have changed. You're not the same little boy I used to know. Well, in a way you are just the same… But now your life is completely… exotic to me." She turned to look at me, her eyes shimmering as she fought back her tears, but her voice remained calm. "And, I knew it in my heart, long ago. I knew there was someone in your life. This afternoon I saw you with her, but… I needed to hear it from you."

"Miho, I…"

_I don't deserve __your kindness… _

"So," she said when I failed to put three words together. "Are you going to marry her?"

_I wish I could, yet…_

_If I only knew… if it's even possible to think like that… _

_How can I __tell you, my dear friend, what I really don't know myself?_

_She__ is my star, indeed… my beautiful, shining star. But it is not her beauty or glow that draw me to her, it is her generous and compassionate heart that has conquered mine. It´s her faith that has become my creed, the only bond I have left with my Goddess. How can I explain to you that she's not only my guiding star but also the anchor that keeps me from going adrift? _

"Maybe."

She smiled, somehow condescendingly. "Well, I think you should be more certain about it. It's ok if you want to be erratic now, because you are very young, but remember you aren't going to be this young forever. You shouldn't live by decisions –or lack of decisions- you will regret when you realize there's no way back." I widened my eyes and paled a bit, her spontaneous admonishing was starting to make me feel more self-conscious than was comfortable. Although she continued, "Besides, you have to consider her feelings as well, you shouldn't be so self-centered…"

_Now, that's the Miho I know._

I wondered how she could be so strong and brave. Gods… I wouldn't think for a second if I had to risk my life for you or for humanity, but this kind of courage, the one that lets you be heartbroken at one second and moving on the next, going on with your life, I seriously lack of. I understood she was much fitter to this world than I could ever be.

"…and, it´s not like you are the first person to go through a difficult time…"

While she kept with the prattle for another ten minutes, I thanked in my mind all the Gods for letting me go through all this without further damage… on any side. I blessed my luck, or my stars… or what is written in them. I smiled at her dumbly, just thinking about the family and friends I do have in Japan, and it really wasn't so terrible to spend a couple of days there now and then.

Then pleaded so I could be sitting on my couch, watching a soccer game ´till midnight with Shaina snoozing with her head pillowed on my lap; as soon as possible.

"… so, please always remember you have people that care for you, and ostracizing yourself will do no good to anyone."

I guessed she was right about pretty much all she said to me, but since I lacked the skills to explain myself, I gave her the infallible answer. "Yeah…well. I guess you're right."

She gave me a definitive nod. I stretched and jumped on my feet, then suggested we should get going while offering my arm. She took it and stayed at my side as we walked, talking about everyday things of our lives like good old friends would do.

_You are a wonderful woman, Miho. You are the reason why Athena believes __human kind is worth dying for._

_She is my reason, and you are hers. _

_Funny thing, how purposes end up being bound __to one another… _

…_or maybe it's fate._


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Well, here's another chapter. It is time, my dear readers, to say this story is coming close to being concluded. Yet, let me tell you that considering the super-slow rate of my updates, I feel quite satisfied in getting to this point. But let's not rush to say goodbye to the story, I still have a couple of chapters more to go.

I must confess I feel a little less than confident about this chapter. I hope I didn't go too far with the corniness, or with the out-of-characterness. I would really appreciate your comments regarding this.

Talking about something else, after a long consideration I decided to create a mailing list. If you happen to be interested, please check the details in my profile.

So, this chapter goes to my Mexican readers and Dear Mexico (my second motherland and home of my early youth), in celebration for its bicentennial anniversary and the centennial of the Mexican Revolution. My heart rejoices and cheers along with you.

Thanks to **darkflyer531** for the add, to T**he Midnight Blossoms** for faving me, and to **charm'n'strange** for faving the story. Faves make me so happy…

Disclaimer: Saint Seiya belongs to Kurumada Sensei.

9.

People say we fear what we don't understand, or what we don't know. Well, one thing I do know, is that the things I fear the most are the ones I know very well. Someone like me, that has been where I've been, that has seen, bled and cried like I have; can afford the luxury of declaring he knows his fears.

But the fears of people close to one's heart can appear from places that weren't expected…

It is said that Ofiuchus, the Serpent Holder, is nothing less than Asclepius son of Apollo, who was ascended as atonement for the cruelty of his death. Becoming a constellation is not an easily given honor, but a fit outcome for a noteworthy life. Of course, being his father's son was reason enough to transcend his human lifespan, but that wasn't what made his place in the conscience of Gods and Humans alike.

Here it is what the myth says about him:

_After killing Asclepius' mother Coronis, as a punishment for her infidelity, Apollo gave his son to be raised under the care of the centaur Chiron, who instructed him in the art of medicine. And hence he became the greatest of all healers, one so talented that he was said to be capable of raising the dead. _

So, everything seems to indicate that he put his talent to good use, because even if there are different versions out there, they all coincide in how his actions ended up raising not only the dead, but also the wrath of Hades. He was messing with the dark god's domains, and must be stopped, and it also seems like the easiest way was to ask for the help of the father of all Gods. So, the mighty Zeus decided in favor of his brother, and he himself took care of his grandson's punishment.

Why did he use a thunderbolt? Well, that I couldn't say… maybe you could tell me. The thing is, given my dear Ofiuchus Saint is the mistress and holder of the much feared "_thunder claw_", I could never guess she could be scared of thunder. It wasn't hard to believe, though, when I felt her trembling in my arms one stormy night.

She said she wasn't feeling so good, and she was going to bed early. I stayed to watch TV a little longer. Soon the storm grew louder, and the power went off. Seconds later I heard a scream perfectly synchronized with a thunder's roar, that sounded disturbingly close. I ran to my bedroom and found her curled on the floor, erratically illuminated by the lightning-ignited sky. I sat by her and hugged her. She was shaking, but other than that remained motionless, protecting her ears with her hands. Another lightning bolt, then thunder. She screamed again... and quivered. I held her tighter, finally making her lower her arms.

"Shhhh…. Shhh… I whispered. "Here I am, not leaving you alone, no one will harm you... I'm not letting anything harm you…"

"They are searching for me… for me…" She mumbled.

"Shaina," I asked, "who is searching for you?"

She didn't answer, I realized she was still asleep or in some kind of trance. More thunder and another scream, this time she held onto me and squeezed me tight.

"The thunder?" I asked.

"Don't let them find me," she mumbled again.

"It doesn't matter if they find you," I said. "I'm not letting anyone take you away from me."

I felt her relaxing and pulling away a little. She opened her eyes and looked at me for a few seconds, then she held me again. "Sorry," she said.

"Ah?"

"For worrying you."

"Tell me," I asked, "do you always have nightmares during thunderstorms?"

She just nodded. Gods! How many years did she live by herself? How many years did she put up with the irrational panic, without someone to hold her… to tell her that everything will be all right? I hardly slept that night, guarding her sleep in my embrace, thinking of what could possibly be the fear of being chased by thunder.

The next day I installed a lightning rod.

What with all this, you may ask.

Guess I remembered 'cause that was the second time she admitted her fear to me. The first time was a little after my conversation with Miho, that same night in fact.

I got to Seika's before sundown, spirits up and eager to see my sister. The Gods had been generous to me that afternoon, and if my run continued I would surely do fine with my plans for the evening: to tell Seika about Shaina.

I rang the bell, she opened almost immediately. Without letting her say anything, I held her and lifted her, making her spin a couple of times. She complained between laughs, demanding me to put her down. I let her go, and laughed a little at her failure to give me a disapproving stare. Then her face was showing me a warm smile. Seika… Seika… the truth is even then I missed her a lot. I came inside carelessly before she had the chance to invite me in.

"Hey," I asked her, "where is 'what's-his-name'?

"Who? Ah… you mean Yoshi.

"Sure, him."

"He's not home yet."

"Ah, ok." I tried to keep myself from being evident about my relief. I didn't feel like coping with my barely-met brother-in-law. "And, how'd you been?

"Very well, thank you. But not as well as you are, it seems. You look really good."

"Thanks," I answered, all full of myself.

"And, did you see Miho-chan?"

"Yes, your plan worked out perfectly." She ignored my comment but blushed a little. "I walked her home."

"Oh!" She said, not hiding her satisfaction. "And, how did things go?"

"Very well, actually. I had a nice time with her."

She didn't ask any more about it, but I think she couldn't dissemble her smile, even wanting to.

"So, are you hungry?"

"Not really," good opportunity to bring out the subject I had planned. "Besides, I promised Shaina we would have dinner together. I'll wait for her; she'll be here any minute. In fact, I was hoping you and… eh, Yoshi would join us."

Her expression changed abruptly, she went to sit by my side. "Oh, as a matter of fact, Shaina-san was here earlier this afternoon. We had tea."

"She was?" That meant she came and then left. _Crap_. "And why didn't she wait?"

"Well, I told her I didn't think you would come soon, that I thought you were out with Miho, and probably the two of you would have a lot to talk about…"

_Crap crap crap crap crap… __Crap. _"You did?"

I'm sure my face showed exactly what I was thinking, no matter how hard I tried to play cool.

"Why, did I do something wrong? I didn't know… she didn't say you were going to take her for dinner…"

"And she didn't say anything?"

"She asked if you and Miho were close."

_Ohhhh shit… _"And… what'd ya say?"

"That I believe you were close before you got… enrolled in Saori Kido's em… missions, and… that I have hoped for years you could get along with her, because she's sort of a … connection with a life before… a life that was much simpler… And I thought she could maybe… help you out of…"

"My crazy life." Telling by the nervousness of my sister, my efforts of looking calm had been useless for a while. Gods! Poor Seika. Then I wondered why she was worried about me all the time. Anyway, I needed to know what else had happened. "And… what'd she say?"

"Not much, but she asked if I thought she could do that. I told her I didn't know… but I certainly hope so… because you deserve to have a nice life."

This time I didn't say anything, but my eyes pleaded for her to go on.

"She said," my sister continued, "she also wants you to have a nice life. Then she thanked me for the tea and left.

I closed my eyes and leaned back on the couch. "Goddess…! Goddess!

Seika looked at me and exhaled with a certain anxiety. " I… Oh, God. I'm so sorry, Seiya. Her behavior was a little strange, but I didn't think… you know how she is…"

I stood up with a jump, told Seika an incoherent apology, and ran away.

She was hiding from me, I couldn't feel her anywhere.

_Damn it, damn it, damn it…_

I had no idea of where I should start to look. I didn't think she was with Shun and June, more likely she would be at a place where she could fume out all the not-so-nice things she was probably feeling about me. And I couldn't blame her, as far as she knew I was out with my 'ex' or something, and forgot about our plans for the evening.

I decided that if she wanted me to find her, she would be somewhere I would be able to think of. Places with a meaning for us both… like the forest near the Gaude Foundation's hospital, where she nearly lost her life protecting me from Aioria.

Before I knew it I was there, jumped the fence and bilked the security system without any trouble. I ran towards the woods, searching in the shadows for a glimpse of green hair.

Amazingly enough, I was right in the first try: there she was, leaning against a tree and staring at the starry sky. I walked to her side in silence, not knowing if I should feel relieved or ashamed, or angry. I just waited for her to acknowledge my presence.

"Hey" she said, "you came". Her voice sounded calm and friendly, but I could sense a disturbing void of affection.

"Sure, didn't you expect me to?" I answered, as if it was the most natural thing.

"In fact I did."And she smiled.

_Thank you, all of you Gods… Thank you._

"So, how did it go with June?"

"Good… I mean, very nice. The doctors said everything's ok, but I think June was trying to drive them crazy."

_Really… no kidding_. "How's that?"

"Cultural incompatibilities, I guess. She called them 'butchers' and 'macho pigs' every time they suggested any procedure that could make the delivery… _easier_ for her. Of course she didn't say those things in Japanese, but I think they got the message anyway. And since she's the wife of a Kido, they have to pretend they like her… it was kind of funny, actually."

"Yeah, I bet." "What'd Shun say?"

"That she wins, and he will go and look for a midwife in Greece, so maybe then June will be more… pleased with the arrangements."

Then we both stayed silent. I really didn't know if I should bring out… I didn't even know what to bring out. "And, what did you do afterwards?"

"They went back to the Kido mansion, I went looking for you."

"Yeah, right… An'bout that, I was wondering why you didn't wait for me at Seika´s." I wasn't really asking her for an explanation, but maybe it sounded like that.

"She said you weren't coming back soon, and then I guess I ran out of conversation topics."

Topics? I had an idea of what kind of topics they could be talking about… Probably they all started with my name. I had the feeling that I would find out very soon, and guess what? she didn't make me wait. Her voice came out firm but very polite, like she would talk to a new acquaintance.

"Tell me, Seiya, why don't you come back to live in Japan? You could have any kind of life you want, go to college, marry a nice Japanese girl and have a family..."

_Gods! I knew it; I knew it would come to this… Damn. _I felt my temper going loose. "What the hell are you talking about?"

She, instead, remained calm, using that melodic tone in her voice. "I mean it; you are allowed to have a good life."

_Who said I didn't?_ "I have a good life!"

"Come on, Seiya, we both know you can do a lot much better. This… Miho girl, that's her name, right? She looks like a really nice person, and she obviously cares about you."

So, she saw us, Miho and me. That I should have expected. She probably went looking for me… But then, I did nothing wrong, I was just talking to my old friend! Was she angry? Goddess… the worst thing was that freaking lack of anger in her voice, not even the slightest trace of jealousy or hurt. That only could mean she was going back into her shell, to hide behind the damned mask. She was turning back into the wise and ever indulgent shrine keeper… protecting herself by breaking her feelings apart from me.

_No… not again… I´m not letting you do this. _

"Besides, if you return to Greece," she continued "what do you plan to do for the rest of your life? Remain a foreigner, without knowing what are you going to do the next day?"

"Well, yeah? S'not been bad so far."

"Think about it, you don't know if one day, years from now, you will wake up and regret…"

"No. I'm not thinking about it, and you know why? Cause won't regret nothin'." I interrupted her. "Besides, if you think what you say is such a good idea, why don't you go for it yourself? Why don't you go back to your… country or whatever, and have a happy ever after?"

"It's not the same, I have no one there." She barely said. "You… looked very… comfortable with that girl this evening. Your life could be like that, peaceful and untroubled. You have family here, and friends, people who care about you… and rights over an enormous wealth. You could live without a worry."

Ok, that last was the final piece needed to completely piss me off. "Gods! Why are you doing this? I don't wanna live here, I'm not interested in marrying Miho! She's a childhood friend, ok? And I… I…" _I actually just told her I don't feel that way about her. _ "And, above everything," _hear this well sweetheart, because I don't ever want to say it again_, "I DON'T WANT A CENT OF THE OLD MAN'S MONEY! What kind of man do you think I am? Don't you know me at all? Dammit Shaina, are you trying to punish me? Go on then, you're doing a great job!"

She turned her face to me, her expression was one of apology but remained serene "Don't, Seiya, I didn't mean it like that…"

Part of me wanted to be angry at her, but most of me was just thinking of how gorgeous she looked, all bathed in starlight. "Please, believe me, I don't care about those things, all I want, I have it back home." My words came out like a plea, hoping to at least make her lower her guard a little. "I… I need to be there… I know you understand, I know you feel the same."

If there was someone who understood, it was her. "Because of Athena."

_No… I mean, yes… Not only Saori… not anymore… but she's even now the weightiest reason. I can't lie to you, it would be unfair… and probably useless, because despite of what I said, you know me too well_. "Yes."

She sighed in defeat, avoiding my gaze. "You don't have to. Stay at the Sanctuary I mean. I must, but you don't. You are not required," she said like only someone that has undisclosed a terrible secret would. "I'm sorry, Seiya."

_Not… required?_ _What the hell… _I felt anger and frustration rising inside me; it was possible that Athena didn't need me anymore? Didn't want me close to her, anymore? I barely managed to gasp a few words.

"What d'you mean?"

She was choosing her words carefully. I knew she was bound to be loyal to you, but she was aware of how the knowledge she carried could easily devastate me. "It is her will."

I knew it killed her, but I was too angry to dwell on solicitudes. Gods, Saori… Every time it came to you, I ended up behaving asininely with her. "No, that is not an answer," I grunted, and then yelled. "Tell me the truth, tell me why!"

"You know why," she said calmly.

Of course I didn't know. All I could think at that moment was how suddenly I wasn't good for you. No, not suddenly… it had been for a long time, but I had been in denial.

_No, no, no! Athena… She always does this to me! She always tries to keep me away… to make me feel I'm not needed anymore… But she's been wrong in the past, and yet… Now, once again she says I'm not of use to her anymore, and she doesn't want the burden I am. But she also wants to take you away from me? Does she really despise me that much?_

You had to show me this bitter knowledge in the face of my sweet solace. You wanted to ruin her to me, didn't you? Alas, it was too late to draw back. "I need to hear it. Tell me."

She looked directly to my eyes and then started to speak, softly. "She… she cannot bear to see your suffering. She wants you to be happy."

_Or maybe she hates me not… _

_Goddamnit! Then, why are we having this stupid conversation! I thought… I thought she might want us to be together, you and me, Shaina. I thought she knew about our hearts__… _

I was more confused than I thought possible, what were we talking about? Why was she behaving like if she wanted to break up with me? That was the last thing I needed! And, above everything, what the hell did the woman want?

_A little reassurance, maybe? It is not like you have said a word to give her something to look forward to._

The words sounded in my head like an epiphany, I still wonder if you placed them there. Although, epiphany and everything, I was fuming.

"I AM happy!"

_Am I?_

"Seiya…"

Yes, I was. I was happier than ever before. "I am. Well, not very happy at the present moment, in fact I'm goddamn fucking furious right now…" then I lowered my face and blushed a little, "but on the whole, I am happy. Very."

And how couldn't I? She was with me, and she was…

…_She is… Just look at her, alright! I am so… fortunate._

She turned her back to me, hugging herself. Was she cold? Why on earth wasn't I holding her? I realized the whole thing was going too far. _If you want to break up with me missy, you've got another thing coming…_

I gathered all the strength of my feelings, my rage and my frustration. I concentrated them in the pit of my stomach so I could make the words come out. And I made sure she would hear me loud and clear. "Dear Goddess, woman! Are you blind?" I yelled, "no, it has to be something worse than that, 'cause even a blind man can see I'm completely, utterly in love with you!"

And it did her. She turned to me, her eyes wide with dread and full of tears. The walls crumbled to the ground, along with her. "Please Seiya… don't… don't say it if you don't… I couldn't stand it."

Jeez. I thought she would believe me, I thought she would say she knew. This was not the reaction I was expecting and it really made me feel frustrated. "I'm not…" I felt the words abandoning me, by then I was beyond annoyance. "Ughhh!," I roared as I fell on my knees, right in front of her. "What do you want me to do? How can I make you believe me? You're right, I'm not doing a lot with my life right now… and I don't know what I'm going to do in the future…" I sighed and sat cross-legged, grasping her hands in mine. I heard my own tone softening, and I smiled. "But one thing I know for certain, and it is that I want to be with you, all my life… if you will have me."

Yes, I know… I truly never meant to go all _soap opera_, but well… sometimes a little corniness gets handy. She looked at me; and I almost didn't believe it when I saw a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Are you proposing to me?" she said in a playful tone.

"It depends… would that scare you away?" I said, feigning shyness.

A sad shade fell over her eyes and she looked down, a heartrending smile graced her face. "Probably."

_No, don't fall into sadness… I love when you smile, I need you to smile_. I rolled my eyes and wrinkled my nose, "then nah, I'm not."

And she laughed… And my heart sang.

Then she looked into my eyes. "I need you to know… it is not that I have doubts about you."

"I know," I said, fondling her cheek with the back of my fingers.

"I don't own myself to give away… yet, but there will be a time. I hope… I need the hope," she leaned her face into my hand, closing her eyes, "even if I know I will never have all of you either."

She knew me. She knew the bindings of my heart, my crassness, and the stubbornness I won along with my war injuries. And yet she loved me… she wanted to be with me. She deserved to know how much her love meant to me. "I… I wish I had complete control over my fate… and my heart. But, it doesn't change the way I feel for you! I know how long you waited for me; I know you gave up your choices so you could stay close."

She drew back, glaring intensely at me. "What do you mean?"

Ha,ha… So, you women didn't think I could actually be paying attention all this time. "I'm not completely clueless, y'know? I know your increasing devotion to Athena has something to do with staying in the Sanctuary. Got a perfect excuse to keep an eye on poor, madcap Seiya."

She snorted in quite an unladylike way "Gods! Do you have an ego or what?"

_And you have some nerve…_ "Tell me I'm wrong then…"

But she didn't. She stared at the ground until the silence became unbearable. She breathed deep before talking "I… She… I wanted to understand why you loved her so… completely. I knew it was beyond her Goddess condition or her role as the guardian of earth; so I tried to see… I worked hard to earn the right to be close to her. And finally she let me see. I saw her through your eyes, Seiya, and she was all light, all this… miraculous love. I could see through her heart, and I felt her hurting, for all her Saints, and her pain because of you was so much like my own… our pain because of your pain. She said I had the means to ease your pain, she said you would notice me some time and then you would find comfort, and maybe… finally forgive her. So, although I had little faith, I waited." She fell silent, but she was calm.

"If it is so," I asked "why are you pushing me away?"

"Because I'm scared," she whispered.

And there I thought nothing could astound me anymore. "Of me?"

"Oh yeah," she chuckled.

I laughed "well, I'm scared of you too; I think I've always been. I guess it makes two of us… scared people… of each other. And, y'kow what? I think it can only mean we are in love."

She smiled fondly at me. "I wish we didn't have to fear anything."

"Yeah, me too. Y'know, I don't think we have to… I think you're right, it will come in time."

"Well, everyone needs something to look forward to," she smiled.

_You have no idea… _"I'll wait, now it's my turn. An' I can wait… I'll wait for you, 'till you're ready."

"Then, I hope you know that even if I can't say I'm yours, you are not supposed to _wait_ for me, in all the sense of the word…"

"I could say… Haven't ya been 'round the last few months?" I mumbled, amused.

"Seiya…" She rolled her eyes.

"Ok, sorry. Please go on."

"I lost my train of thought!"

"You're saying I don' have to wait for _all_ of you…"

"Right; what I mean is that my will may be committed elsewhere, but my heart is mine to give… and it's yours; it has been for a long time."

Oh, Goddess… I don't think she knows how her words can touch my heart, and make it warm. This kind of warmth always brings me to smile, no matter what. "An' I always've known… And, I'll tell you a li'l secret," I whispered into her ear, "I think that´s the one thing that kept me going through these last years."

She burst into tears and I felt them washing my worries away; in fact, I was astonished at how she coped all this time. Now she would cry out her sorrow, so it couldn't hurt her anymore. I yearned to soothe her ache, and never again be the cause of it. Oh, Saori… I knew I would fail, but I made a promise to myself to never stop trying. Then I pulled her into my embrace.

"Crazy boy," she whimpered, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Foolish woman," I whispered into her hair. "So, you're not breaking up with me, are you?"

She chuckled and slapped my chest, "I'd have to be insane."

"Hey! I'm the crazy one, remember? But my madness has a name, y' know? It starts with an 's', then goes an 'h'…"

"Oh, Goddess!" she sighed, "shut up already."

I leaned closer and whispered huskily, "Make me."

And she made me hush alright… but about that, I'm not telling you a thing.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Hi everybody. Against the odds, here's another update… more than a year later. I guess it is not use to try to explain myself after all this time, but an apology is in order. So, I sincerely apologize to the people that were following this story (even if there's only one person), and I hope you enjoy the story if you continue to read it.

I want to thank the people that have been reading this story all this time, you made me feel it was worth the effort.

Please enjoy this new part; of course feedback will be highly appreciated.

10.

Many people live and die without ever knowing their purpose in life. Maybe they don't even know if they were supposed to have one in the first place, and probably they don't even care. Don't blame them, though. How can you care about having something to do in life, when you… you know, don't even know?

Well, I learned what I was meant for at a very young age, but even before knowing anything I was forced into it. I was so young that most people would say I should be playing marbles instead of fighting for the sake of some goddess' vocation. But that's what I was supposed to do, even if at first I really didn't give a damn 'bout it.

And, why should I? I was torn away from my sister, the only family I knew, and then forced to learn the ways of the Saints under the watch of a ruthless teacher, that wouldn't give me a fu- a freakin' break. And nobody explained nothing to me, except for the old man sayin' he would let me see my sis if I came back with some infamous gadget he called a _Cloth_.

'Cause, you know? I was just a kid. A freakishly talented kid, maybe, but _that was it_. And, I really didn't know why I was being trained to be a Saint. I thought I did, but I was wrong. That 'till I got to know you, 'f course. Then it came to me, all of it. All I ever knew… always knew, but didn't know I knew.

Makes any sense?

Doesn't matter, 'cause once I learned my purpose in life, it made sense. Everything… and there were no more doubts, no need for explanations.

But the day came when you decided my purpose was done. And what was I supposed to say? 's not like I could argue, not with you anyway. I guess then, there's no harm in never knowing one's purpose… but, what if you know it and then... lose it?

Find a new one, you would say. But no, sorry my love, 'm afraid it doesn't work that way. You will always be my purpose, my reason, my _one and only_ Goddess; and I'll always be ready to die for you, never think otherwise.

But… I cannot lie to you either… 'cause you aren't my only love. Not any more 'n any case. Just hope you're fine with it. Love is a grand thing, and you cannot expect a guy not to… well, love. Not when there's so much love around, of so many kinds, asking to be experienced. And's not like I can help it. So, what if my purpose has expired already? At least there's people who loves me… that much I know.

Am I drunk, you say?

Well yeah… maybe, just a little.

0

After Shaina and I came back from Japan, we sort of couldn't keep our hands off each other.

When we first started to live together, it was more about adjusting, I think. But now was different, and far better.

Because, I mean… it wasn't just the physical thing, it was about enjoying (a great deal) each other's company. We spent together every minute we could, I even fixed my working schedule so I could go pick her up after her training lessons more often. Then we would walk home by the seashore, taking our time, giving each other the minutes of our day. Sometimes sunset caught us during our walk, and we stopped to stargaze a bit. Even, a few times I was able persuade her to hurry home and change, so we could go downtown and have a drink at the tavern, and then just slow dance for a while… or to the theatre, or even the town's festival.

Other times I waited for her to finish her tutoring, so we could do a little sparring. Her pupils stayed to watch, of course, and I didn't scruple in showing off. I knew I was the only one that could make her bring out her best, and the kids could use some illustration in what a real match among Saints would be like. And, dear Athena! Who'd tell getting your butt kicked by your woman could be so much fun?

Well, what I'm trying to say is that we were connected at a higher level, with a kind of bond I didn't even know could exist. And let me tell you, Goddess of mine, it was turning my world upside down.

Shun said it was ok, to feel that way. He said it was only me being true to myself… whatever that meant.

Anyway… so immersed into the thrill I was, that several weeks passed by and I literally forgot which day I was living.

And that's how one morning I came back home after a night shift, feeling comforted by a beautiful sunrise in the beach after all the hard work. I opened the door quietly, as I would usually do, expecting to find nothing but slumbering people inside my house. But that time I found her sitting by the table, her gorgeous face looking at me with a warm smile. "Hey, beautiful," I greeted.

"Hey yourself."

"You're up early."

She walked towards me and stopped just an inch away. "I wanted to say 'Happy Birthday' before everyone else." I widened my eyes in surprise, but couldn't say a word as she was pushing me against a wall and whispering next to my throat "And also: 'I love you, Seiya'."

"I'll be damned…"

I hated my birthdays, and I'd completely forgotten about it, but in that instant I couldn't care less. I lifted her in my arms and in a swirl I was pushing the bedroom door with my foot, and then for some reason I turned back to the front door and realized I hadn't closed it.

I also realized there stood Hyoga, leaning against the frame and wearing that smug smirk of his. And without need of any _diamond__dust_, I froze.

"Hi there," he said, "go on, you two. Never mind old me."

How could he even get there without me noticing? …The sneaky bastard.

I lowered Shaina slowly, but kept holding her against me. She was mumbling embarrassed curses against my chest, while I was more annoyed than mortified. "Hyoga," I addressed him nonchalantly "I didn't know you were coming." My pals and their timing…

"And miss the great birthday? Not a chance."

"You never come for my birthdays," I answered, not amused.

"Not yours, you dope," he said, coming in and making himself comfortable on the couch, "my baby niece´s _birth-day_."

"Well," Shaina said, trying to act cool, "now that you're here, we can all celebrate Seiya´s birthday together. You would like that, don't you Seiya?"

"Sure, if you say so." I stroked a loose lock away from her face, enjoying the way she was looking at me.

Hyoga rolled his eyes dramatically, making sure we could watch him.

"How you even know it's a girl?" I asked him, since he insisted in being the center of attention, "June and Shun didn't want to know, so how can you?"

"You even doubt it? Man… talking about lack of perception. No wonder you didn't notice me in your house until a minute ago."

"What about some coffee? I just made some," Shaina chirped, parting from me towards the kitchen counter. She placed three mugs on the table and filled them. I followed her and handed one to Hyoga, then took one for myself and sat by the table, facing him. "You are a bit early, though".

"Early, for what? Breakfast? At what time you people eat, by the way?" he asked.

"I mean, the baby won't be born for another five weeks."

"Well, I didn't want to take any chances. Besides, I have nothing better to do these days, so…"

So, we would have Hyoga for a while. Shaina grabbed her mug and headed towards the front door. "Well, I have to go… _eh_… outside. I'll leave the two of you to catch up." Then she turned to Hyoga while hissing "be nice, or else you'll answer to me!"

I could swear the temperature of the room dropped five degrees, but to my great surprise, Hyoga didn't retort. "I forgot what a little spitfire she is. Some woman you got yourself," he remarked as soon as she was out of hearing range. "And hot as hell too".

_Jeez… who the hell he thinks he is! To talk about my girl like that! _

"More than you can handle," I answered, narrowing my stare, "an icicle like you would melt down and steam right away, so you better keep your distance."

"You mean _sublimate_." He smiled. To my face of utter annoyance (and ignorance), he continued: "If ice melts directly into steam, it _sublimates_. Not that I expected you to know that."

Dear Athena, he could be irritating. "Whatever!" I groaned, "I'm jus' saying she's _way_ out of your league."

"Wanna bet?" He challenged.

"I'm serious, hands off!"

"Ha! Cool down, bro. As if she'd give me the time of day while you´re still kicking around." Hyoga snickered while spreading on the couch. "After you die maybe, then I could take care of her… for you." He said, thinking he was the funniest guy in the world.

"Over my dead body," I snapped.

"That's exactly what I just said."

"Right then", I said, using a tone that didn't leave room for arguments. "I swear to Goddess, you lay a finger on her, and I'll rise from the grave with the sole intention of spooking the crap out of you, y'hear me?"

He looked at me intensely, and so did I. We held our stares like that for a minute, until he couldn't stand it anymore and burst into laughter. I followed an instant later, laughing so hard I almost couldn't breathe. The fit lasted for what felt like hours, Hyoga was rolling on the couch holding his stomach, and I had to grab my chair to avoid falling on the floor.

"Man… I've missed you" he panted, trying to catch his breath.

"Yeah, me too" I finally said, breathing deep.

"Only because you're such easy bait," he explained.

"You love me to death, just admit it."

"You wish," he breathed, shaking his head. "So", he started after a moment of silence, "twenty already?"

"Yep."

"What would you like to do about it?" He asked, roguishly.

"Dunno. Not what I usually do, that's for sure." I chuckled.

"And what's that?"

"Disappear," I confessed, sighing with my head down. "Find a place where no one knows me, and get wasted drunk, 'till pass out. Later, Shun finds me and brings me back." Then I added: "Except for last year… since he wasn't home and all..."

"What did you do, then?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I passed out in a downtown bar, then a guy from work tried to bring me back, but he said I was too heavy so he just let me sleep on some shipping boxes in some warehouse, at the dock. To save me the trip the next day, he said. The truth is the jerk was also drunk. "

"You're such a dumbass!" he laughed.

"Right…"

"Of course you are! Next time you want to do that, you ask me to come so we both can get wasted," he stated, dead serious.

I laughed at that, then I stayed quiet for a moment before telling him "well, it was sort of the point… being alone and drink to forget how miserable I was, and then feel more miserable… and stupid."

"I know," he said, meaningfully. And I knew he understood. Shun accepted my behavior, because he is a patient and kind heart, but he didn't know how it feels. Hyoga did, far better than me probably. Suddenly he brightened up "but I won´t let you do that to yourself. This year I come along, hell, we'll bring Shun too."

"Oh, we can´t do that!"

"Why not?" he frowned.

"Bring Shun, I mean…" I explained. "It's against his religion, or something. The only way you will drag him to one of _those_ places will be to take me out of it." Then I smiled at him and dropped my shoulders "and I'm not doing that this year, so don't bother."

As on cue, Shun appeared from his room, fresh-bathed and smiling. "Good morning! Hey, Hyoga, I thought I heard you! How nice to have you here!"

Hyoga nodded, addressing Shun. "You look good, man. Married life suits you, it seems."

"Can't complain," Shun answered, smiling fondly.

"And can't say the same ´bout you…" I mumbled.

"Shut up!" Hyoga snapped towards me. Then he smirked conceitedly "you´re just jealous because I'm tall and blonde".

"Dream on," I rolled my eyes.

"Hey guys!" Shun chimed in. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"Anything fast, I'm starving" Hyoga said. Shun filled a pot with water and placed it on the stove, then turned the burner on. "By the way", Hyoga continued "I was telling Seiya we should go to town and have some brotherly time to celebrate his birthday, just the three of us. What you say?"

"He wants to get us drunk" I added.

"Oh!" Shun looked to a side, scratching his head nervously. "We can't do that…"

"Not you too… Why the freaking hell _not_?" Hyoga whined.

"Trust me!" Shun whispered loudly at Hyoga and widening his eyes… and failing miserably to be subtle. Logically, his behavior called my intention.

"Yes, Shun, why can't we?" I asked sharply.

"It´s nothing! Gosh, Seiya, you are being overly wary."

"And you are being a lousy liar. Come on brother, spill the beans, or else Hyoga and I'll be planning a trip to boozeland tonight." It was a lie, but he didn't need to know that.

"You can't do that to them!" He sighed.

"To whom?" I inquired. By that time Hyoga was comfortably leaning on the couch, his arms crossed and his face showing great amusement.

"The girls, obviously. They are planning a dinner party for you. It was supposed to be a surprise," Shun confessed, then he plumped on a chair with a defeated sigh. "They are going to be mad at me if they find out I told you."

"They did w-what?" I wasn't expecting… I mean, no one ever did something like that for me, so… "Why?" And didn't even try to hide how astounded I was.

"Well, because they love you, and want to do something nice for you. So you will be happy" he answered, matter-of-factly.

"They… do? I mean, June too?" I don't need to say I was short of words.

"Of course, we are family" he smiled brightly.

I didn't know what to say, but it didn't matter since Hyoga was fast to make a comment. "Now I feel like the third wheel here… fifth wheel, I mean."

"Hey, no one said so! And I asked you to come, didn't I?" Shun said kindly to him.

"You don't have to be nice. I'm the odd number, I get it. It's not like I live here or anything…"

"It's not like that!" Shun replied.

"Shun, let him be the 'drama queen' if he wants it so badly," I said, annoyed.

Shun sighed, resting his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand. "No, he's just trying to distract me from the fact that I had him informed about the 'party' subject, and still he made you force me to tell you. He's good, but I'm not that slow."

"I did not!" Hyoga stood up, indignantly.

"You did too." Shun sighed, resigned.

"I didn't know!" He howled. Then he sat again on the couch, narrowing his eyes, thinking hard. "…or maybe I did know… now that I think of it."

"See," Shun stated. Then he whined "how could you forget?"

"Could it be that I was mostly asleep when you called? It was 3:00 AM, for Christ's sake! Did you ever hear of something called _Time Zoning_?"

"Asleep like a sheep… drunk as a skunk?" I absently riddled.

"Same difference," Hyoga grumbled.

"Not if it's affecting your memory skills," I said in a sarcastic preachy tone "maybe it's time for you to acknowledge your problem."

"Ha! I can hold my hooch, not like some other people I know" he snorted back.

"Well, now the secret is out and nothing can be done," Shun shrugged dejectedly.

"Don't worry, I will act surprised," I tried to comfort Shun. He beamed at me, as if I had just done something really nice to him, then he turned to attend the steaming pot.

"I'm making oatmeal, it's that ok?" he asked.

"Of course, if you want punish me for my indiscretions," Hyoga nagged.

I laughed a little, then I walked towards the fridge and started rummaging its contents. "Don't worry, I'll make some fried eggs and bacon. June is going to want her breakfast any minute now, and she'll feel like having some greasy goodness. How that sound for you?" I asked Hyoga. He gave me the 'thumbs up'.

"You spoil her rotten", Shun complained, "I'm trying to persuade her into eating healthier. Why don't you take my side in this?"

"Sorry bro, but can't do that," I answered while plunking a crumb of cheese in my mouth. "You see, she's a bit prettier than you… and way scarier." I heated a skillet and dropped on it enough strips of bacon and some eggs, while Shun finished making his porridge.

"Hey!" Hyoga intervened, "wasn't Shun's wife 'whip-girl'? No wonder she has both of you… you know… whipped." Shun and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes, ignoring him.

"Is she up?" I asked Shun.

"Guess so."

"June!" I yelled, "breakfast's ready!"

"Does Shaina know how to use the whip too?" Hyoga wouldn't leave it be.

"Dear Goddess!" He found so much joy in getting to my nerve. "You want to know? Then I'll call her so you can ask her yourself!" Then I smirked and continued in a calmer tone. "Or better, why don't you go ask her _outside_. I like my house in one piece."

"I'm not _that_ curious"

"Then shut up and eat your breakfast," I grumbled.

"'kay, since you're asking nicely…" he laughed.

I slid the eggs and bacon on two plates and placed them on the table, indicating Hyoga to come and take a seat, and handing him a fork. He sniffed his plate, evidently pleased. "Thanks bro." Then he looked at us. "Aren't you guys eating?"

"Just a minute," Shun smiled to him. "Please begin, you are the guest! We will join you soon." Of course, Hyoga didn't complain about that.

I placed another fork besides June's breakfast, opposite from Hyoga. "June!" I called again "'s getting cold!"

A minute later June came out from the room she shared with Shun, all shabby and sleepy, and holding her huge belly. "Morning…" she mumbled. Then she sat at her place, her stare fixed on her food. "Thank you Seiya, you are the _best_ brother-in-law _ever_. Now you gimme coffee."

"No. No coffee." Shun interfered, placing a mug filled with warm soy milk in front of her.

"You are a food-tyrant…" June complained, pouting. Shun stood at her side and leaned to kiss the top of her head. She smiled, keeping her stare on her breakfast, and started eating.

I realized then that I was musing about how lovely she looked, unkempt and all. I wondered about my mother, all of our mothers… wondered if they all had people that pampered them like we did June. If they had someone to look after them as they should be looked after. And I knew it wasn't likely. But our baby niece or nephew would never have to worry about that sort of thing, because Shun was right, we would take care of each other as a family the same way we did as partners in war. That's the way things are meant to be. Then I noticed how Hyoga was eating silently, just watching her with an unreadable stare. She looked up at him, apparently becoming aware of his presence at that very moment.

"Who are you?" She asked, indifferently.

Hyoga smirked his answer "I'm the guy his brothers try to keep from their wives, because they know women tend to like _me_ more than they like _them_."

June looked at him in recognition, pointing at him with her fork. "I remember you now… You are the snooty Russian boy that came to our wedding!"

Shun shook his head, laughing a little. He helped himself some oatmeal porridge and sat at June's side. I had the feeling that I was not needed anymore, so I filled two large mugs with Shun's concoction, grabbed a couple of spoons and headed outside.

I found Shaina curled on the porch bench, contemplating the bottom of her empty coffee cup. I sat by her, offering one of the porridge-filled mugs.

"Thank you, best-brother-in-law-ever." She said, using a cheery (yet scary) voice. Of course she heard everything; my house had thin wooden walls.

"You're welcome, hot-little-spitfire," I answered, sitting at her left.

"Oh, right. Remind me to let _him_ know who's in charge here. Whip… I'll show him '_whip__'_… _l__'__idiota_!" Oh-oh, Italian… and she was looking intensely at the horizon, with that deep and frightening stare I remembered well but didn't miss at all. In order to avoid upcoming confrontations, I decided to do a little intervention in favor of the least Asian of my brothers.

"Don't be too hard on him; people skills tend to go down when you avoid human interaction. He will come around… eventually." I'm glad Hyoga wasn't there to hear me standing in his defense. "I mean, I'm no one to talk. If it wasn't for your and Shun's influence, I would probably be even worse." I laughed to myself.

She smiled at that, apparently dropping the subject and turning her attention to me. "So," she commented, "I guess the surprise dinner party is not much of a surprise anymore."

"Well," I answered, "June still thinks I don't know anything about it, and Shun doesn't know you know I know. So, let's pretend we don't know anything and stick to the plan, so everybody's happy."

She sighed. "This is so like you, Seiya. Planning a birthday party for you wasn't meant to make them happy, or me, but somehow you managed to turn it that way."

But her expression showed me no disappointment or irritation, she was looking at me the way she only dared to look when we were alone… that intense stare that told me time after time how her heart and soul where in my hands, to do whatever I wanted with them.

It was flattering, but also overwhelming.

Made me feel happy and at the same time undeserving… To think of this woman that was the strongest one I ever met, but in my hands she was fragile as the wings of a butterfly…

…And just as mind-blowing.

No one else, not even Shun or June were aware of that. This side of Shaina was only mine. It was our secret… our pact, and it was my duty to keep it safe. To keep her heart protected in the trembling shelter of my battered hands. But Goddess! As I saw those eyes, I'd have given my last breath struggling to accomplish the task.

I smiled at her, while fondling her cheek. "Have you any idea of how beautiful you are?"

She blushed and looked away, and I thought my head would explode if I didn't kiss her right there. I mean, a man can hold back until a certain point, but when someone looks at you as if you were her beginning and her end… As if nothing existed in the whole world, except for you…

…_As I used to look at the Goddess of mine… _

But despite my best efforts, my life didn't end when you vanished from it.

"Hey!" I said suddenly, "What would you say if I asked you to run away with me? Just like that, right now."

She wrinkled her forehead, and chuckled. "I would ask 'why do you want to run away from your own house?' of course."

"Well… a bit too crowded for my taste lately…" I answered, twisting my mouth.

She laughed out loud. "Yes, but the crowd worships you, you idol-boy."

"What can I say; some of us jus' can't restrain all that charisma."

"And humility."

"Of course, that too."

She laughed. And all I wanted was to dive into the green of her eyes, and to get lost in the wilds of her mane…

…And over all, I wanted to live.

To live, no matter if a purpose was set or if a meaning was predetermined. To live just because of the joy of it, by the people that wanted me around just because I was myself, and not for what I was supposed to be.

"We stick to the plan, then?" She asked.

I heard my brothers laughing inside my house, and I realized I was turning twenty that day and I was alive, and they all were alive, and our family was expanding… And I had a woman that adored me, literally at my side.

I also realized that even if you were not with us, you were the one that made all this possible, and the thought made your name less bitter to my tongue... if only a little.

I smiled at her and pulled her closer to me, holding her with my right arm. She leaned her head on my shoulder. I kissed her head and answered with a whisper.

"_Yeah, we stick to the plan_."


End file.
